Pre camino blues

[Luka]

I am two sleeps away of my Big Journey: walking the last 1800 kms to Santiago. I have been searching 3 years for this opportunity. Yesterday my unpaid leave from work began. The day after tomorrow I will be on a train to Paray-le-Monial to fulfil my dream.

And now I am feeling a bit sad, lonely and scared. This morning I had to say goodbye to my parents and my two cats. This afternoon I cycled for the last time through my beloved city. My best friend is in our local right now and I can't come, because I still have quite some preparations to do. The last few days I can only think about everything and everyone I will be missing. It feels like being homesick before leaving home.

Does this sound familiar? I feel spoiled. Four months of freedom and adventure ahead of me and I can only wonder why I wanted this in the first time...

 

[SabsP]

Big hug Luka! All will be well....Buen Camino , take care. Het komt allemaal goed.xx

 

[wayfarer]

Good for you Luka, enjoy it all.
Buen Camino.

 

[Luka]

Thanks @SabineP and @wayfarer! I guess it is just part of the deal. I hope the excitement returns when I am on the train to Paray-le-Monial.

 

[mikevasey]

Good luck Luka. Yes I suffer pre-camino blues, nerves, fears. Its always my cat I feel sorry for, 3 times in a cattery and the others have friends visiting several times a day to pet and feed. I think families and friends are more capable of dealing with this and perhaps meeting you if possible. I always suffer homesickness after coming back to Exeter.

Good Luck and Buen Camino

 

[Luka]

Oh yes, I know the feeling sorry for cats feeling... Mine are staying with my parents the coming four months, which is great, but they are rather shy. When I left this morning they were still hiding. They only came out of their shelter when I was alone in the room with them. And now they have to get used to a new temporary home and new caretakers. I am too sentimental with animals. My own apartment is so empty and silent now...

But I am sentimental about anything at this moment...

 

[sue-loves-cats]

Dear Lula how honest you are....trust your fellow pilgrims to support and care for you ... your feelings are totally understandable... I too will be leaving 2 lovely furry soul mates in 11 days .

Buen camino
Sue

 

[Jennifer Juniper]

I often get a last minute sadness before going away . I think its a combination of excitement for what's to come combined with the fatigue of waiting . I tell myself I can always turn around and head home if I really want to- but it's never happened . The nervous feelings vanish once I'm on the road ,and I end up being so glad that I left .

 

[yolanda Mejia]

I am two sleeps away of my Big Journey: walking the last 1800 kms to Santiago. I have been searching 3 years for this opportunity. Yesterday my unpaid leave from work began. The day after tomorrow I will be on a train to Paray-le-Monial to fulfil my dream.

And now I am feeling a bit sad, lonely and scared. This morning I had to say goodbye to my parents and my two cats. This afternoon I cycled for the last time through my beloved city. My best friend is in our local right now and I can't come, because I still have quite some preparations to do. The last few days I can only think about everything and everyone I will be missing. It feels like being homesick before leaving home.

Does this sound familiar? I feel spoiled. Four months of freedom and adventure ahead of me and I can only wonder why I wanted this in the first time...

BUEN CAMINO!

 

[Luka]

Feeling better already. My mom just told me that my cats were eating their dinner while she was sitting close to them. And getting it off my chest (and your support) here probably has helped as well. Anyhow, I am slowly starting to look forward to my adventure again!

 

[norelle]

Buen Camino Luka!

 

[crusader9872]

Firstly Luka Buen Camino and have a wonderful time. Your problem will not be pre Camino blues trust me it will be post Camino blues. It is nearly a year now since i completed my 310 km fom Leon and it still lives with me every day. As the first anniversary of my Camino approaches my sense of loss and sadness that i will not be going this year increases. The Camino touched me in a way i could never have imagined and continues to do so daily. Enjoy and cherish every moment of your trip for it will live with you for ever.

 

[Susan hopes]

Luka, I completely understand how you feel. When I said good-bye to my husband at the airport, I burst into tears and sobbed for about 10 minutes. Then I got on the plane and I was fine. Felt kind of silly with a red nose and eyes.

Next time I am bringing him with me. I know you cannot do that with your friends and family, but think about all the interesting things you will have to tell them.

 

[Peter Fransiscus]

Hi Luca, I wish you a great journey. Bit jallous do. I plan to do my 3th Camino from my home town in the Netherlands in about 4 years that's the time I am going with pension. At the moment i'm on the Camino, this morning I left Burgos. I wish you well and a Buen Camino, Peter.

 

[SYates]

You will have the time of your life, even if it all looks a bit scary right now. Buen Camino! SY

 

[Robo]

Buen Camino Luka.

Guess what ?

You're human

 

[amorfati1]

I am two sleeps away of my Big Journey: walking the last 1800 kms to Santiago. I have been searching 3 years for this opportunity. Yesterday my unpaid leave from work began. The day after tomorrow I will be on a train to Paray-le-Monial to fulfil my dream.

And now I am feeling a bit sad, lonely and scared. This morning I had to say goodbye to my parents and my two cats. This afternoon I cycled for the last time through my beloved city. My best friend is in our local right now and I can't come, because I still have quite some preparations to do. The last few days I can only think about everything and everyone I will be missing. It feels like being homesick before leaving home.

Does this sound familiar? I feel spoiled. Four months of freedom and adventure ahead of me and I can only wonder why I wanted this in the first time...

ola luka -
there is a story about a man who was in search of the wise lion somewhere -- and searched for him every day. when after one year he finally came to the place where the lion was, he paused ... fear rushing about him. - to be in the presence of the lion is always very different than searching for the lion.
those steps, like undertaking a pilgrimage as you are having ahead of you, are alike encountering oneself @ an abyss.
to jump or not to jump?
but that's how evolution happens .... daring into the unknown. going being ones limits of comfort and fear.
otherwise we'd all be still living clad in furs in caves -
well, you get my drift (i hope)
hope you can relax into the unknown and be open for that adventure whatever it might have in store for you. - facing an abyss one also faces the certainty that we are not in control of life.
we just have great propped-up illusions as if we were/are.
you have prepared .... now proceed with confidence. -- while acknowledging your quite human sentiments/feelings.
a step at a time.
buen camino!

 

[David]

"to be in the presence of the lion is always very different than searching for the lion" - how perfect is that!

Luka, it is ok, these feelings. It is only that you have an open and generous and loving heart ... if you had a hard heart you would not have these feelings - all is well.

Go to Camino, with your big heart; give to others, receive from others, do not be afraid to cry, do not be afraid to laugh, have a wonderful pilgrimage Luka

Buen Camino!

 

[Luka]

Thanks amorfati, for your beautiful story! My motto right now:

'What if I fall? Oh but my darling, what if you fly?'

I can only have 'during camino blues' right now, and that is not the case!

 

[David]

the way birds learn to fly is that they spend a lot of time watching other birds fly, from the safety of the nest - most likely thinking "I want to do that" "I could never do that" and then one day the parent bird throws them out of the nest .... they learn to fly on the way down!

We are a bit like that, don't you think?

Buen Camino!!!!

 

[drmartha]

Luka -
I love that --"What if I fall? Oh but my darling, what if you fly?"
I have not walked the Camino, but am planning on it in fall of 2016. And I'm already worrying about leaving my cat...... Sigh.
Buen Camino!

 

[Dem]

I am two sleeps away of my Big Journey: walking the last 1800 kms to Santiago. I have been searching 3 years for this opportunity. Yesterday my unpaid leave from work began. The day after tomorrow I will be on a train to Paray-le-Monial to fulfil my dream.

And now I am feeling a bit sad, lonely and scared. This morning I had to say goodbye to my parents and my two cats. This afternoon I cycled for the last time through my beloved city. My best friend is in our local right now and I can't come, because I still have quite some preparations to do. The last few days I can only think about everything and everyone I will be missing. It feels like being homesick before leaving home.

Does this sound familiar? I feel spoiled. Four months of freedom and adventure ahead of me and I can only wonder why I wanted this in the first time...

I walked April/May/June and had never left my dog anywhere near that long. He had all sorts of supports at home ~ my husband, a dog walker, good friend who walked him once a week, dog daycare while my husband was at work and then boarding when my husband joined me on the Camino for the last week. Once I started my Camino I was so busy walking I didn’t think about my dog so much. My husband and friend sent photos and videos of him which was a great reassurance. He did fine - his name is Alex and he’s a 4-yr old beagle. He loves his pet sitter and the place where he goes for daycare/boarding so it was a vacation for him at the same time

 

[hunsta]

A message from my cat.
She says" your cats will be fine"
Enjoy your journey.
Those who endure the distance of journey.
Only strengthens the bonds of separation on one's return.

 

[Luka]

Wow, this is an old thread! Interesting to read. It feels like I am different person now. Here I am, living in the Spanish countryside for exactly 4 years now. It all started with that journey in 2015...