Walking with/in gratitude?

[peregrina2000]

One of the most frequent emotions I feel on the Camino is a really strong sense of gratitude. To my family for giving their blessing to this crazy and perhaps irrational passion of mine, to hospitaleros, to Spain, to my body, to life itself. Today's New York Times has an article that sheds a much less positive light on this emotion, suggesting that it's just another aspect of self-indulgence and the feel-good world. I am not sure what to make of this.

http://www.nytimes.com/2016/01/03/opinion/sunday/the-selfish-side-of-gratitude.html?_r=0

Buen camino, Laurie

 

[mla1]

I read that piece not 5 minutes before I opened the Forum, and I was still thinking about it when I saw your post.

I really liked the piece. I don't think she doesn't want us to feel gratitude or to be grateful - but rather to think about the limits of gratitude (for what and for whom are we grateful, who is it that we forget in these moments? I like her example of all the people whose labour makes our meals possible). And, I don't think it is the actual emotion or feeling of gratitude that has her concerned, but certain forms of promoting it. She's also written some pretty scathing critiques of positive thinking and some other related forms of self-help that, she argues, can be really oppressive to people who have serious illnesses or who live in disadvantaged circumstances. I am always happy to read her work. It really makes me think.

I also feel super grateful when I am walking. It's part of why I always want to walk more!

Buen camino, happy new year,
Mary Louise

 

[C clearly]

I really liked the article, as well, and agreed with her points. I feel fortunate (with humility) more than I feel grateful. There could be some interesting semantic discussions about the difference.

 

[VNwalking]

What I make of that, Laurie, is that it's mostly coming from a place of cynical opprobrium.
I see it completely differently--real gratitude takes me out of the selfish bubble of ego rather than more deeply into it. And because of that the world becomes a much bigger field of care and kindness than just taking care of mememe. But then I try to do something from a place of gratitude--as you obviously do, too (being endlessly helpful on this forum). What the author criticizes (articulately and quite rightly) isn't really gratitude, but something altogether different--an exercise in self-improvement and self-absorption.
Somehow I can't see anyone here doing that.
But she's got a very good point. It behooves us all to serve from that place of gratitude, rather than simply basking in the glow of it. That's the only thing that makes the world a better place. I very much appreciated her use of the word 'solidarity'...because unity is where true gratitude goes.

 

[SYates]

I agree with @Viranani If you feel gratitude for what you have, rather than always wishing for more, than your behaviour also changes, sometimes in subtle, sometimes in not so subtle ways. I see nothing wrong in reminding myself from time to time for how many things in life I am grateful. I also noticed that the article writer uses mostly 'monetary' examples, but not all in life can be given a monetary value. Buen Camino, SY

 

[Robo]

What I make of that, Laurie, is that it's mostly coming from a place of cynical opprobrium.
I see it completely differently--real gratitude takes me out of the selfish bubble of ego rather than more deeply into it. And because of that the world becomes a much bigger field of care and kindness than just taking care of mememe. But then I try to do something from a place of gratitude--as you obviously do, too (being endlessly helpful on this forum). What the author criticizes (articulately and quite rightly) isn't really gratitude, but something altogether different--an exercise in self-improvement and self-absorption.
Somehow I can't see anyone here doing that.
But she's got a very good point. It behooves us all to serve from that place of gratitude, rather than simply basking in the glow of it. That's the only thing that makes the world a better place. I very much appreciated her use of the word 'solidarity'...because unity is where true gratitude goes.

I agree totally. And would add...

The article implies that we 'seek' gratitude as some kind of self help tool. That's really the wrong approach surely?

Gratitude in my mind is not something we should seek out. But by walking the Camino it emerges for many pilgrims as a by product of the walk. And from that we no doubt gain emotional benefit.

 

[peregrina2000]

I woke up this morning to these great responses, thanks so much. As someone who takes a month or more every year to enjoy what undoubtedly seems to many as a self-absorbed narcissistic adventure, I think I read the article a little defensively at first. But it is true that my caminos are all essentially about me, and it's the one part of my life where I find it hard to give a good answer to the question -- why do you do this? Her article actually brought to the surface some of the guilt (maybe that's too strong a word) I feel every year when I spend all this money and take all this time to do something that benefits no one.

I read her book years ago, whose name I can't remember but it was something catchy, about when she went to work at minimum wage jobs. It was no doubt instrumental in galvanizing some of the current minimum wage movement. So if Mary Louise or anyone else has another book of hers to recommend, I would love to read it. Thanks, guys.

 

[SYates]

... Her article actually brought to the surface some of the guilt (maybe that's too strong a word) I feel every year when I spend all this money and take all this time to do something that benefits no one.
...

If you think about it you will notice that you are wrong there. How would all these little villages like Foncebadon look like if they wouldn't be on the Camino? How about the learning experiences we, as part of the wider pilgrims community, provide to those around us and they to us? How, in short, would Europe have looked and look like without the caminos?

Benefits to no one - I don't think so.
Buen Caminos, SY

 

[VNwalking]

If you think about it you will notice that you are wrong there. How would all these little villages like Foncebadon look like if they wouldn't be on the Camino? How about the learning experiences we, as part of the wider pilgrims community, provide to those around us and they to us? How, in short, would Europe have looked and look like without the caminos?
Benefits to no one - I don't think so.

SY took the words out of my mouth. Exactly. And then there is what happens here: when you do everything you do (after emerging from the camino experience) to provide information, encouragement, support, kindness...to say nothing of whatever it takes to be a darn good moderator...
And what would Laurie have looked like without the Camino? Another way of looking at it. I have no way of knowing but I bet this useless and self absorbed activity has made you a better partner, parent, and member of your community.
(And the book is called Nickle and Dimed.)

 

[Aidan21]

I have read the article and I must confess that I am not sympathetic to the underlying points the author is trying to make. I cannot understand why the author has a problem with others being grateful to whomever for whatever, whenever they want. That hurts no one. And if being grateful makes you feel good, then better still. Where the heck is the upside in feeling bad. In fact if you feel good (and no one else is responsible for making you feel good), then you are mentally and emotionally in a much better place to help others and show solidarity with those who may not be financially well off. I think the author misses the point that we alone are responsible for our lives and attitudes and deciding to feel good for and about ourselves is a positive thing provided we hurt no one else.
Aidan

 

[SYates]

Very well put @Aidan21 ! SY

 

[purplesage]

One of the most frequent emotions I feel on the Camino is a really strong sense of gratitude. To my family for giving their blessing to this crazy and perhaps irrational passion of mine, to hospitaleros, to Spain, to my body, to life itself. Today's New York Times has an article that sheds a much less positive light on this emotion, suggesting that it's just another aspect of self-indulgence and the feel-good world. I am not sure what to make of this.

http://www.nytimes.com/2016/01/03/opinion/sunday/the-selfish-side-of-gratitude.html?_r=0

Buen camino, Laurie

@laurie, even Our Lord was ridiculed . Buen Camino, sister

 

[NualaOC]

That's a very though-provoking article Laurie, thanks for sharing it. I've read it a couple of times and I'm still thinking about it.

Firstly, I think there's no harm in a healthy dose of cynicism when a simple, spiritual idea goes mainstream and becomes somewhat commercialised. However, I think that gratitude in its purest sense is more altruistic than selfish. And the happiness that it fosters is (IMO) more about calmness and spiritual well-being than self-absorption.

I've had reason to think a lot about gratitude this Christmas. My younger brother was diagnosed with an inoperable cancer last month. He quickly began an aggressive course of treatment which is taking a heavy toll on his body. He's in an awful state, but he's grateful for and humbled by many things - the speed of his treatment, the care of his medical team, the love of his family and the prayers and good wishes of so many people. As his sister, I am heartbroken that my 'little brother' is suffering so much, but practicing gratitude has definitely helped me to navigate the wave of emotion without anger or judgement. I'm grateful for my health, my husband and sons, my friends, the wonderful lessons I've learned on the Camino and many other important 'things'. This doesn't negate the awfulness of the other stuff - but it is certainly helping me to stay 'grounded', to be kind and to celebrate happy times alongside this awful sadness.

Maybe there are different uses of the term 'gratitude', hence the differences of opinion. The author is perhaps challenging the 'fluffy', commercialised version that isn't really based on a deeper wisdom (IMO).

And to go back to Laurie's original comment. I agree 100%, I feel amazingly grateful on the Camino - so much so that it makes me smile a lot, even when I'm walking alone!

 

[kmrice]

I see it as a two step process. First, one needs to be grateful for his or her blessings. Second, one should act on that gratitude by reciprocating, doing something for which another can feel grateful. I wouldn't say just being grateful is sufficient, although it is a good. But one will not act on gratitude until one is grateful, so it is a necessary first step and will, I would hope, stimulate people to act. The more many people learn to be grateful the more often they will act on it.

 

[peregrina2000]

I have read the article and I must confess that I am not sympathetic to the underlying points the author is trying to make. I cannot understand why the author has a problem with others being grateful to whomever for whatever, whenever they want. That hurts no one. And if being grateful makes you feel good, then better still. Where the heck is the upside in feeling bad. In fact if you feel good (and no one else is responsible for making you feel good), then you are mentally and emotionally in a much better place to help others and show solidarity with those who may not be financially well off. I think the author misses the point that we alone are responsible for our lives and attitudes and deciding to feel good for and about ourselves is a positive thing provided we hurt no one else.
Aidan

My familiarity with the "gratitude critique" is limited to this one article, but I think that the response to your comments would be something along the lines of pointing out that the "feel good gratitude" that is marketed so heavily in the US (maybe not elsewhere) is one that sort of gets us off the hook of social responsibility and leaves us feeling self-satisfied. That gratitude in the abstract is self-indulgent because all it does is make us feel better, when really if we are thankful for the work and sacrifices of others it should translate into some kind of action. Clearly I need to do some more reading here to understand better, but this short article has given me a lot to chew on. Buen camino, Laurie

 

[Aidan21]

My familiarity with the "gratitude critique" is limited to this one article, but I think that the response to your comments would be something along the lines of pointing out that the "feel good gratitude" that is marketed so heavily in the US (maybe not elsewhere) is one that sort of gets us off the hook of social responsibility and leaves us feeling self-satisfied. That gratitude in the abstract is self-indulgent because all it does is make us feel better, when really if we are thankful for the work and sacrifices of others it should translate into some kind of action. Clearly I need to do some more reading here to understand better, but this short article has given me a lot to chew on. Buen camino, Laurie

Hi Laurie,
IMO, I believe that feeling good about yourself does not get you off the hook of social responsibility. In fact I would say that those who feel good about themselves are in a better position to be more socially responsible than those in society who feel bad about themselves. People who feel bad about themselves may be in a place where they cannot see past there own misfortune and possibly less able to help themselves or other people. When people are feeling good about themselves and give love to themselves, I think they are in a wonderful position to share what they have and in so doing they can be and frequently are more socially responsible. And hey, they feel good .
Aidan

 

[purplesage]

One of the most frequent emotions I feel on the Camino is a really strong sense of gratitude. To my family for giving their blessing to this crazy and perhaps irrational passion of mine, to hospitaleros, to Spain, to my body, to life itself. Today's New York Times has an article that sheds a much less positive light on this emotion, suggesting that it's just another aspect of self-indulgence and the feel-good world. I am not sure what to make of this.

http://www.nytimes.com/2016/01/03/opinion/sunday/the-selfish-side-of-gratitude.html?_r=0

Buen camino, Laurie

@laurie, IMHO, gratitude is a gift of grace.... no matter what people may say Buen Camino, sister

 

[peregrina2000]

Hi Laurie,
IMO, I believe that feeling good about yourself does not get you off the hook of social responsibility. In fact I would say that those who feel good about themselves are in a better position to be more socially responsible than those in society who feel bad about themselves. People who feel bad about themselves may be in a place where they cannot see past there own misfortune and possibly less able to help themselves or other people. When people are feeling good about themselves and give love to themselves, I think they are in a wonderful position to share what they have and in so doing they can be and frequently are more socially responsible. And hey, they feel good .
Aidan

@laurie, IMHO, gratitude is a gift of grace.... no matter what people may say Buen Camino, sister

I think you guys come from the world where gratitude has not been marketed as a feel good commodity there for the asking if you just take a deep breath. The sentence I have pasted in below is the kind of sentiment I think the author of the article was talking about, which is clearly not what you guys are talking about, I think. You just aren't narcissistic enough to benefit from the new gratitude campaign.

Studies show that we can deliberately cultivate gratitude, and can increase our well-being and happiness by doing so.

 

[VNwalking]

Right on, Laurie. And it sounds like you just aren't narcissistic enough to benefit from the new gratitude campaign, either.
And not to sidetrack Laurie's wonderfully thought provoking thread...
(Well, for a moment): Nuala, I'm sending many thoughts and prayers of well-wishing and care to you and your brother and your family right now. Not easy at all...serious illness is a much harder road to gratitude than the Camino...

 

[movinmaggie]

Hmmm..it could be a marked difference between the author's own idea of gratitude and other's. I don't think of 'fortunate' and 'grateful' as having equal meaning. I don't seek gratitude; it simply comes up. I am fortunate to have reached my 80th birthday and still healthy enough to walk the Camino. I am also very grateful for both. I am fortunate to live in a free and beautiful country. I am also grateful for both. I am fortunate that I have been able to squeak out funds to be able to volunteer in India for nine years. I am grateful for the many experiences with the children, staff and villagers and lessons learned that changed my life. I guess we could over- analyse just about anything. Grateful in Canada.

 

[Albertagirl]

Gratitude for me has been an awareness of my great good fortune, specifically in my many opportunities for higher education. I am addicted to education as many others here describe themselves as addicted to the camino. The gratitude that I feel for my opportunities has led to my contributing to a charity which supports the education of women in Afghanistan. Surely gratitude is meant to direct our resources, of whatever type, to those who do not have those wonderful things that we are so grateful for? This is a direct way of making our world better, like the work of the members of this forum in trying to keep the camino route clean and pleasant for others each year, or the time and resources given by those who volunteer as hospitaleros/as. For me, gratitude leads to action in joy. It is one of the best aspects of our lives.

 

[jmcarp]

I walked the Camino as a sign of gratitude for all the blessings that I have received from God in my life. I asked nothing in return, but nevertheless I was abundantly blessed, both during my time on the Camino and afterward.

 

[Anemone del Camino]

Interesting read for the new year. And what cynicism on the part of the author. But I tend to agree with her train of thought. As Lauore points out, in North America "gratitude" has taken a particular meaning: it is a selfhelp tool marketed by pop psychology gurus, and has made some people a pretty penny. Anyone remember Oprah Winfrey's "gratitude journal" in the late 1990s? She wasn't giving it away . ( Look up gratitude journal on Amazon.com and just what pops up).

This being said, I do beleive that taking a serious look at what each of us has been given (be it health, sufficient intelligence to persue an education that can lead to meaningful and financially interesting employment, a talent or passion for xyz, good looks, a loving family, friends ypu can depend on, etc.) or has accomplished, can help put things in perspective when struggling with the rat race, keeping up with the Jonses, when always wanting more, always feeling we are not good enough. I beleive this is what the pop psych is trying to sell.

Now, what if the realisation , through this egoistic excercice, could lead to more? @Viranani will correct me, but I am comparing this to what little I have leanred about meditation: perhaps you first do it for yourslef, to feel calmer etc., but as your practice becomes deeper it also becomes about others: if I am well in my heart in mind, I will be able to act in way that will benefit others, by showing tolereance, patience, acceptance for example. (I need to dust off my meditation cushion and sit again!)

So yes to the cynicism the author shares when ot comes to be marketing of the concept of gratitude, and what a shame if its limits is only to make individuals feel good a out themselves. But if by feeling good in my heart and mind I can then DO good, then by all means. Just not by buying a 20$ journal .

 

[CaminoDebrita]

What I make of that, Laurie, is that it's mostly coming from a place of cynical opprobrium.
I see it completely differently--real gratitude takes me out of the selfish bubble of ego rather than more deeply into it. And because of that the world becomes a much bigger field of care and kindness than just taking care of mememe. But then I try to do something from a place of gratitude--as you obviously do, too (being endlessly helpful on this forum). What the author criticizes (articulately and quite rightly) isn't really gratitude, but something altogether different--an exercise in self-improvement and self-absorption.
Somehow I can't see anyone here doing that.
But she's got a very good point. It behooves us all to serve from that place of gratitude, rather than simply basking in the glow of it. That's the only thing that makes the world a better place. I very much appreciated her use of the word 'solidarity'...because unity is where true gratitude goes.

Those who read to the end were probably applauding the way that she used the word solidarity.

Honestly, I get really annoyed with the "attitude of gratitude" speak, the going-around-the-table-to-express-thanks (although I think it's good to do with children), and anything to do with self-congratulatory boasting. I think it's all a bit simplistic, especially when it's done mostly be us privileged light-skinned people. That is not to say that people here do any of that stuff, ha ha! No, not that I've seen!

But feeling grateful, fortunate, privileged, "blessed"?, glad, and happy? what's wrong with that? Nothing.

I've noticed that it's a distinctly American pastime to feel guilty about feeling all of those, and if the middle class has the tendency to look around constantly for people to feel grateful toward, well, that's okay. The millionaires and billionaires certainly aren't doing that.

We all need to act graciously, and enjoy our privileges, and our health, for as long as we have them.

I just saw that a child actress who starred in the insipid "Partridge Family" that I so loved when I was little has died---and she is about four years younger than I am. Make hay, people, while the sun is shining! Book those flights

 

[VNwalking]

@Viranani will correct me, but I am comparing this to what little I have leanred about meditation: perhaps you first do it for yourslef, to feel calmer etc., but as your practice becomes deeper it also becomes about others: if I am well in my heart in mind, I will be able to act in way that will benefit others, by showing tolereance, patience, acceptance for example. (I need to dust off my meditation cushion and sit again

Couldn't have said it better, Anemone. We're all work in progress and cultivation is necessary (sorry, that's a terrible mid metaphor...).

Those who read to the end were probably applauding the way that she used the word solidarity.

Honestly, I get really annoyed with the "attitude of gratitude" speak, the going-around-the-table-to-express-thanks (although I think it's good to do with children), and anything to do with self-congratulatory boasting. I think it's all a bit simplistic, especially when it's done mostly be us privileged light-skinned people. That is not to say that people here do any of that stuff, ha ha! No, not that I've seen!

But feeling grateful, fortunate, privileged, "blessed"?, glad, and happy? what's wrong with that? Nothing.

I've noticed that it's a distinctly American pastime to feel guilty about feeling all of those, and if the middle class has the tendency to look around constantly for people to feel grateful toward, well, that's okay. The millionaires and billionaires certainly aren't doing that.

We all need to act graciously, and enjoy our privileges, and our health, for as long as we have them.

I just saw that a child actress who starred in the insipid "Partridge Family" that I so loved when I was little has died---and she is about four years younger than I am. Make hay, people, while the sun is shining! Book those flights

Yes, Deb, exactly. And I'm guessing you're not the only one of us who feels this way--certainly the strident tone of the article is a reaction to what can be a tiresome obsession with self improvement. The mindfulness movement is experiencing the same phenomenon, and there are inexperienced hustlers getting rich there too.

The real depth of both is something else, and that always leads out rather than in. That IME is what happens to many people on the Camino, and yes...it's certainly nothing to feel guilty about. It's what makes us sensitive to each other in the albergues and on the way...and what we carry home in our hearts.

 

[Anemone del Camino]

@Viranani , what does IME stand for?

 

[CaminoDebrita]

(think it's 'in my estimation')

 

[VNwalking]

Sorry, Anemone, I'm using my phone and got lazy. 'In my experience'

 

[CaminoDebrita]

The real depth of both is something else, and that always leads out rather than in.

The real depth of both self-improvement and mindfulness lead out....

That is true for me--sometimes. I remember that when a very young woman wanted to walk with me--the last ten days of Camino Frances---it occurred to me that any sooner, I would have rejected the idea. I needed that long time alone first. I think that this forum is an "out" place too

 

[VNwalking]

I think that this forum is an "out" place too

Definitely! Very.
(But I wasn't clear. I meant gratitude and mindfulness. )

it occurred to me that any sooner, I would have rejected the idea. I needed that long time alone first.

Well, I wouldn't take that to mean that you didn't have 'real' gratitude, mindfulness, or whatever...it just sounds to me that you have good boundaries and know when it's time to connect/help and when you shouldn't. An enviable skill that I could use more of!

And reflecting this morning about this whole subject, about feel-good gratitude that the author of the article that OP was talking about...thinking about entitlement. It seems to come with the package of self-absorption. If I remember of the many kindnesses given and received in albergues and along the way, versus the times when someone (or I) did something thoughtless from a place of self absorption, there is a clear difference. In the latter there was perhaps a feeling of gratefulness but a sense of entitlement at the same time. In the first case, though, there was often not only gratitude but humility as well. A huge difference. I think this is what you are describing, right, Laurie?

 

[Kiwi-family]

For me (what an ironically narcissistic way to start!) the cultivation of gratefulness is not done because of pop psychology benefits, but because I take seriously the Bible and there it says "give thanks in all circumstances for this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus". That this practice might make me feel good is secondary, but not a surprising side effect, given the nature of God.

 

[Stivandrer]

But she's got a very good point. It behooves us all to serve from that place of gratitude, and the shorather than simply basking in the glow of it. That's the only thing that makes the world a better place. I very much appreciated her use of the word 'solidarity'...because unity is where true gratitude goes.

Before I read this lengthly thread through -
At last, someone used the once defamed and discarded concept of Solidarity
----------------------------------#-------------------
After a cursory read I feel let down by fact that she merely talks about the outwardly perceived notion of Gratitude ie the "economics of gratitude" and especially how you show it or how you should be showing it in order to feel better. A dance around the pursuit of happiness and wellbeing in a narcisistic society, where even to lie to yourself is allowed. However, she argues in the end that you have to get off your yoga mat to show some solidarity. But this is still on the outward showing side

The original concept, however; how we/ how one feels grateful; in the spur of a moment or in this time of our lives, is the main key. I do not feel that she addresses this at all, there is no distinguishing argumentation in her description.
And that is a major flaw in the article. If not indeed a cardinal sin.
When we along the route find inspiration and feel grateful that we are here, and that we succeded, that we had this cancer beat or other issues, we might feel blessed and united in that common ocean of understanding and hence a common feeling of solidarity.
I feel that this eye opener changes the way we see points of gratefullness enter our home domain. That is what this article is leaving out. The writer might not have felt it herself....

 

[Seabird]

It seems to me the author is taking a very limited view of the practice of gratitude as only a recent self-help phenomena. After all, St. Ignatius was preaching the benefit of practicing gratitude in the 1500s. In Ignatian spirituality, however, the practice of gratitude is designed to bring you closer to God's direction for your life.

 

[El Gallo]

Those who read to the end were probably applauding the way that she used the word solidarity.

Honestly, I get really annoyed with the "attitude of gratitude" speak, the going-around-the-table-to-express-thanks (although I think it's good to do with children), and anything to do with self-congratulatory boasting. I think it's all a bit simplistic, especially when it's done mostly be us privileged light-skinned people. That is not to say that people here do any of that stuff, ha ha! No, not that I've seen!

But feeling grateful, fortunate, privileged, "blessed"?, glad, and happy? what's wrong with that? Nothing.

I've noticed that it's a distinctly American pastime to feel guilty about feeling all of those, and if the middle class has the tendency to look around constantly for people to feel grateful toward, well, that's okay. The millionaires and billionaires certainly aren't doing that.

We all need to act graciously, and enjoy our privileges, and our health, for as long as we have them.

I just saw that a child actress who starred in the insipid "Partridge Family" that I so loved when I was little has died---and she is about four years younger than I am. Make hay, people, while the sun is shining! Book those flights

Those who read to the end were probably applauding the way that she used the word solidarity.

Honestly, I get really annoyed with the "attitude of gratitude" speak, the going-around-the-table-to-express-thanks (although I think it's good to do with children), and anything to do with self-congratulatory boasting. I think it's all a bit simplistic, especially when it's done mostly be us privileged light-skinned people. That is not to say that people here do any of that stuff, ha ha! No, not that I've seen!

But feeling grateful, fortunate, privileged, "blessed"?, glad, and happy? what's wrong with that? Nothing.

I've noticed that it's a distinctly American pastime to feel guilty about feeling all of those, and if the middle class has the tendency to look around constantly for people to feel grateful toward, well, that's okay. The millionaires and billionaires certainly aren't doing that.

We all need to act graciously, and enjoy our privileges, and our health, for as long as we have them.

I just saw that a child actress who starred in the insipid "Partridge Family" that I so loved when I was little has died---and she is about four years younger than I am. Make hay, people, while the sun is shining! Book those flights

I liked your response to this string on the camino forum but what really made me take notice was your profile picture ! I took the same photograph just coming out of the overpass in Viana. Seeing it made me go back and review my photos, thus getting the opportunity to relive the moment. For that I am grateful

 

[psychoticparrot]

Just happened upon this thread, but three months later, I still feel compelled to toss in my 2 cents.

Came back from a 3-month stay in Nicaragua less than 2 weeks ago. I am SO grateful to be back in the States after observing the grinding poverty of the Nicaraguan people and their poor farm animals day after day. I'm even grateful to Nicaragua for the "there-but-for-the-grace-of" sensation that came over me whenever I saw the street hookers, the desperate-for-pennies windshield washers and cashew hawkers, the starved stray dogs everywhere, the bony horses and donkeys forced to pull overloaded wagons, the corrugated tin hovels, the filth, the corruption.

Gratitude is a fine sentiment, but unless it's transformed into action, what good is it? As an American who was staying in a land where the government despises the U.S., I was not in a position to do anything more to help except to outrageously overtip the service people and feed stray dogs the chicken that came on top of my salads -- a meager and pathetic gesture at most.

Even now, gratefully sitting in my comfortable chair nibbling on easily affordable food on my very nice boat, I keep wondering how can I help change, in even a small way, what I saw in Nicaragua. I don't feel guilty about what I have, but I do feel helpless about what I saw. One of the housekeepers I liked at our Managuan hotel is corresponding with me via email, but the very fact that she has access to email means she's doing pretty well compared to the average Nico.

Gratitude is fine as far as it goes, but if it wraps you up in a feel-good cocoon and lets you float unseeing through a world full of hunger and misery, then it's not good for much, IMO.

 

[Nanc]

I think you guys come from the world where gratitude has not been marketed as a feel good commodity there for the asking if you just take a deep breath. The sentence I have pasted in below is the kind of sentiment I think the author of the article was talking about, which is clearly not what you guys are talking about, I think. You just aren't narcissistic enough to benefit from the new gratitude campaign.

Studies show that we can deliberately cultivate gratitude, and can increase our well-being and happiness by doing so.

I immerse myself in gratitude to remind myself of the positive things in life. Stresses, work, bad ankles prior to the camino, getting lost on a mountain in a rain storm at night, ALL have components that , viewed with gratitude, take me out of self pity and negativity. They are not fake nor pollyanna, but a reminder that there is more here that one view of it. To wake and breathe the air and have a roof over my head, to be in position to finally take this much time off for my Camino, sets my day for a positive outlook which directly affects my health, my calmness, and even the people around me.
I view the statement of "deliberately cultivating gratitude" not as superficial, but as a lesson and exercise. Not everyone can stay in a place of grace or acceptance. Some have to practice it. Some have to learn it, and once done, find their days are more peaceful.
So if someone has to say random acts of kindness to teach others do it, so be it. The outcome is a world that is better outside and inside
IMHO
Nanc