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The problem with good ideas

DoughnutANZ

Ka whati te tai ka kai te tōreapango
Time of past OR future Camino
2019, 2023, 2024, 2025, 2026, 2027 & 2028.
Sometimes, like in this (closed) thread 'Let's Start A Pilgrim's Albergue in Santiago de Compostela!' https://www.caminodesantiago.me/com...rims-albergue-in-santiago-de-compostela.61752/
by @Daniel Beaumont people come up with good ideas that quickly get shot down on the forum and sometimes, as a result, the original poster leaves as suggested in this conversation between @henrythedog and @alexwalker Post in thread 'Let's Start A Pilgrim's Albergue in Santiago de Compostela!' https://www.caminodesantiago.me/com...-in-santiago-de-compostela.61752/post-1104954
Now sometimes the initial criticism is people who disagree with the idea and want to suppress it but, fortunately, this doesn't happen too often here. I suspect that more often it is people commenting while in "Problem Solver" mode. Let me explain.

I am a problem solver and I am very good at that (as are some others btw) but sometimes I get so into solving problems that I start operating automatically and soon the world about me starts to occur as a continuous stream of problems that need solving. This has some major downsides because that isn't how the world occurs for others.

This was bought home to me very powerfully some years ago when one of my daughters came to me very happy and excited to tell me about this fabulous new idea that she had. I started commenting on her idea and as I spoke I could see her excited face crumple as I spoke. Fortunately, I caught myself, stopped commenting on her idea and asked her what was wrong. She said "you are always critical, why can't you believe in someone else's ideas?"

I thought about this for a moment and to be honest I was taken aback because I didn't think that I was being critical but then putting myself in her place I could see that she would think that my comments were critical. I apologised to her and asked her to explain her idea to me and I concentrated on just listening to her.

After we had finished discussing her idea I explained to her two related things. The first thing was that the opposite of love isn't hate, it is indifference and similarly the significance of an idea is not measured by the number of supportive comments vs critical comments but by the total number of any comments because who can be bothered commenting on something that you are indifferent to? I then explained that I am a problem solver and so my automatic way of behaving when I come across an idea that I am interested in is to first work out why it might not work so that I can then find a way of getting the idea to work. I asked her to keep this in mind and whenever she found me to be critical then she should point this out to me so that I stop being an automatic problem solver but remain able to solve problems when this is needed.

I suspect that there are lots of problem solvers on this forum and that sometimes us problem solvers need reminding that we should hold off being critical of new ideas until there is enough support for an idea that it can survive a little criticism.

BTW, I am interested in problem solving as an area of research and I have come across one method for solving certain hard problems.

Some problems (or projects if you like) are inherently difficult for one person to complete. As an example, Barry Brickell OBE was a Kiwi potter and conservationist, (https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Barry_Brickell). Barry had an idea one day, his idea was that he wanted to create a Kauri forest for the children of Aotearoa where they could experience what it was like to be in a native forest before there were mammalian predators in this land (as told to me in direct conversation).

We need to know something about Kauri forests to see the inherent difficulty in this idea. Kauri trees (https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Agathis_australis) take hundreds of years to grow to maturity and a Kauri forest may well take a thousand years to properly establish. Us mere individual humans, including Barry, would be long dead before this project completes.

Barry knew that he needed two things for this idea to come to fruit. Firstly he needed to express his idea in such a compelling manner that some people, on hearing his idea, would want to step in and say, "what a really neat idea, what can I do to help?" Secondly, he needed to create an environment around his idea that would act as a conduit to bring people to the place where he was creating the forest so that they could hear this compelling message and choose to step in to help and to carry on this idea after Barry's death. This environment also needed to be self sustaining financially.

Being a potter himself, Barry's first action was to create an artists community on his land where creative people could come for a residency. This started drawing people onto the property, then as he started planting trees on the steep hills of the property, with the help of the resident artists and creatives he needed a way to get water up to the top of the hills so that he could water his seedlings until they were established enough to survive on their own. Here, Barry was brilliant. Instead of building a boring old network of pipes and pumping the water up Barry decided to build a miniature railway track and train and so was born The Driving Creek Railway (https://drivingcreek.nz/?gclid=CjwK...HCNBbaY6pDQv0ip6uLZwdUCXlpNh1m6RoCME8QAvD_BwE) now a major tourist attraction on the Coromandel peninsula. This attraction brings thousands of people to the property and when they come they hear Barry's story about his idea for creating an original Kauri forest for Kiwi kids and every now and then one of these visitors steps forward and says "Wow, what a neat idea, how can I help?"

Perhaps a note for people wanting to share a new idea, try to be a bit like Barry and express your idea in a way that others might see a place for themselves in your idea.

Buen Camino!
 
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Great post @DoughnutANZ .
As an aside, because we all love to go off at Tangents.........

As I started reading this I immediately thought of a book.
For those who have not read it, it's brilliant I think.
Ever wondered why guys go straight into problem solving mode, whilst most ladies just want to talk it out and have you listen?

"Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus"

Should be compulsory reading at high school :)

Please don't shoot me! I just found it an amusing read ;)
 
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Ever wondered why guys go straight into problem solving mode, whilst most ladies just want to talk it out and have you listen?
Well @Robo, you are stepping into dangerous territory here. I sympathize with @DoughnutANZ, as I am similarly a person (of the female type, although I never call myself a "lady" except in the phrase preceded by "little old...") who immediately wants to problem solve, even when others didn't think there was a problem.
 
I think the division often rests upon linear thinkers versus non-linear thinkers. Linear thinkers are people who love solving problems using traditional methods of problem solving. They don't like to reinvent the wheel when it comes to physics, math, and chemistry. Think of them as people who enjoy designing airplanes. Non-linear thinkers are people who tend not to pay attention to rules, norms, and expectations of others. They use their passion to find solutions. Think of them as artists, singers, and writers.

Whenever I board a flight to Paris, I think to myself, thank God that a linear thinker designed this plane. And when I walk into the Museum d'Orsay a few hours later to look at the magnificent work of the Impressionists, I think to myself, thank God for non-linear thinkers.

Linear thinkers make living life possible. Non-Linear thinkers make living life worthwhile.
 
The focus is on reducing the risk of failure through being well prepared. 2nd ed.
Great post @DoughnutANZ .
As an aside, because we all love to go off at Tangents.........

As I started reading this I immediately thought of a book.
For those who have not read it, it's brilliant I think.
Ever wondered why guys go straight into problem solving mode, whilst most ladies just want to talk it out and have you listen?

"Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus"

Should be compulsory reading at high school :)

IMO it is a book full of stereotypes. Not at all evidence based.
There are far better studies done.


Saying that this book is a reference about Man versus Woman ( where is the X btw?) Is like claiming that the Alchemist by Coelho is a referencebook about the Camino.
 
People do leave due to some of the replies that they get in a thread they started. However, the example chosen for this thread is a little unfortunate and has the potential of being misunderstood.

So just for the record:

The thread "Let's Start A Pilgrim's Albergue in Santiago de Compostela!" was indeed started by @Daniel Beaumont in April 2019. He received 70 replies within a week and then wrote a beautiful summary in post #72 where he thanked for the wonderful feedback here. He did not leave. He went on to post some 50 comments in the following months as well as in the following year 2020. He was "last seen" on the forum a year ago in April 2022 - three years after his Albergue thread.

The Albergue thread then resurfaced again when it got picked up in this month of February 2023. When you have not set up your preferences accordingly you will not get an email about a new reply in a thread that you once started. No response from the person who started a thread years ago is therefore not surprising. That Daniel left due to the way he was 'received' is mere speculation on the part of readers who may pay little attention to the greater picture and see and react only to the content of the post in front of their eyes on their small mobile phone screen.

We don't know why forum member Daniel no longer participates after he had posted his last comment about his journal for the Via de la Plata. Too much of the wrong kind of problem solving? Too many peregrinas doing the talking? Maybe he just lost interest, found other things to do. And he may not be interested in the problems of long-term romantic relationships anyway. 😶
 
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Whenever I board a flight to Paris, I think to myself, thank God that a linear thinker designed this plane. And when I walk into the Museum d'Orsay a few hours later to look at the magnificent work of the Impressionists, I think to myself, thank God for non-linear thinkers.

As someone involved in another life on aircraft engine safety, don't thank the linear thinkers just thank the statisticians that wanted 99.9% probability nothing would fail. Every safety system has two backups - just in case.


Not every "good idea" is practical such as leaving off the other two systems.
 
The one from Galicia (the round) and the one from Castilla & Leon. Individually numbered and made by the same people that make the ones you see on your walk.
Interesting first read of the morning..... a bit early for me to work out why, but it made me want to re-read Zen and the art of Motorcycle Maintenance, especially the classical Vs romantic references.
Oh, I never read "Zen and the art of Motorcycle Maintenance" but find the title as intriguing as "The Loneliness of the Long-Distance Runner" which I have also neither read nor watched. Gonna put it on my list now. "Men are from Mars, women from Venus" appeals less to me. Aircraft construction could also be interesting.
 
sometimes, as a result, the original poster leaves as suggested in this conversation between @henrythedog and @alexwalker Post in thread 'Let's Start A Pilgrim's Albergue in Santiago de Compostela!' https://www.caminodesantiago.me/com...-in-santiago-de-compostela.61752/post-1104954
Gosh, people, and I am sorry to be so blunt now. Perhaps there is a different "lesson to be learnt for many" from that thread than not to shoot down good ideas, namely: Instead of idle speculations and jokes about a forum member who has not posted for years and is unlikely to see comments made about him in 2023, one could actually read first what that very forum member put out for all of us to read.

He was not scared away, he did not get an accountant, there were no considerable complexities. He wrote, a mere month after floating the idea of opening a Camino albergue after having managed a hostel in Bucharest, what his plans were in May 2019 - see his post #30 on this forum:

Day 9 - Coming Home
Date: 25.05.2019
Cáceres > Embalse de Alcantara, 34km
I haven’t lived in England for 7 years now; which shocked this morning, realising that I left the country to travel in 2012. In many ways, although I’m learning a lot and my life is very interesting, I do miss home. [...]
So this morning I made a big decision. For the last four years, I’ve walked a different Camino each year for my annual adventure. But I’ve decided that for next year’s adventure I am going to head home to the UK to rediscover my country. [...]
In conclusion, the more I travel, the more I realise how special home is and the more I appreciate the humble but beautiful little town I grew up in. Having said that, my aim for many years now is to live an interesting and fun life, and I don’t want to discount the experiences I’ve had and that I am currently having. For the last 7 years, I’ve had the time of my life travelling the world and living in Australia, Germany and now Romania. Indeed, I enjoy the novelty of new cultures, but eventually, that will change. My heart is England, and it won’t be too long till I am coming home for good.​
And as you can see from his other websites England is where he still lives today.
 
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When you go into a particular issue @Kathar1na you don’t mess about!
LOL and thank you for the compliment. But it is easy to see other and/or relevant posts by a forum member by just clicking on his or her forum name to go to the Profile page where there is not only a link to all of the member's forum posts but also to the About section where the member can post what he or she wants to share with us. The member in question shares the url of one of his websites and his Facebook moniker - that's an invitation that says "Go and read more. I don't post everything here all the time". And he also shares his Instagram and Twitter monikers and addresses of his other websites. Context, context, context ... it is so much easier to understand someone or something when you have some relevant context. ☺️
 
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Sometimes, like in this (closed) thread 'Let's Start A Pilgrim's Albergue in Santiago de Compostela!' https://www.caminodesantiago.me/com...rims-albergue-in-santiago-de-compostela.61752/
by @Daniel Beaumont people come up with good ideas that quickly get shot down on the forum and sometimes, as a result, the original poster leaves as suggested in this conversation between @henrythedog and @alexwalker Post in thread 'Let's Start A Pilgrim's Albergue in Santiago de Compostela!' https://www.caminodesantiago.me/com...-in-santiago-de-compostela.61752/post-1104954
Now sometimes the initial criticism is people who disagree with the idea and want to suppress it but, fortunately, this doesn't happen too often here. I suspect that more often it is people commenting while in "Problem Solver" mode. Let me explain.

I am a problem solver and I am very good at that (as are some others btw) but sometimes I get so into solving problems that I start operating automatically and soon the world about me starts to occur as a continuous stream of problems that need solving. This has some major downsides because that isn't how the world occurs for others.

This was bought home to me very powerfully some years ago when one of my daughters came to me very happy and excited to tell me about this fabulous new idea that she had. I started commenting on her idea and as I spoke I could see her excited face crumple as I spoke. Fortunately, I caught myself, stopped commenting on her idea and asked her what was wrong. She said "you are always critical, why can't you believe in someone else's ideas?"

I thought about this for a moment and to be honest I was taken aback because I didn't think that I was being critical but then putting myself in her place I could see that she would think that my comments were critical. I apologised to her and asked her to explain her idea to me and I concentrated on just listening to her.

After we had finished discussing her idea I explained to her two related things. The first thing was that the opposite of love isn't hate, it is indifference and similarly the significance of an idea is not measured by the number of supportive comments vs critical comments but by the total number of any comments because who can be bothered commenting on something that you are indifferent to? I then explained that I am a problem solver and so my automatic way of behaving when I come across an idea that I am interested in is to first work out why it might not work so that I can then find a way of getting the idea to work. I asked her to keep this in mind and whenever she found me to be critical then she should point this out to me so that I stop being an automatic problem solver but remain able to solve problems when this is needed.

I suspect that there are lots of problem solvers on this forum and that sometimes us problem solvers need reminding that we should hold off being critical of new ideas until there is enough support for an idea that it can survive a little criticism.

BTW, I am interested in problem solving as an area of research and I have come across one method for solving certain hard problems.

Some problems (or projects if you like) are inherently difficult for one person to complete. As an example, Barry Brickell OBE was a Kiwi potter and conservationist, (https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Barry_Brickell). Barry had an idea one day, his idea was that he wanted to create a Kauri forest for the children of Aotearoa where they could experience what it was like to be in a native forest before there were mammalian predators in this land (as told to me in direct conversation).

We need to know something about Kauri forests to see the inherent difficulty in this idea. Kauri trees (https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Agathis_australis) take hundreds of years to grow to maturity and a Kauri forest may well take a thousand years to properly establish. Us mere individual humans, including Barry, would be long dead before this project completes.

Barry knew that he needed two things for this idea to come to fruit. Firstly he needed to express his idea in such a compelling manner that some people, on hearing his idea, would want to step in and say, "what a really neat idea, what can I do to help?" Secondly, he needed to create an environment around his idea that would act as a conduit to bring people to the place where he was creating the forest so that they could hear this compelling message and choose to step in to help and to carry on this idea after Barry's death. This environment also needed to be self sustaining financially.

Being a potter himself, Barry's first action was to create an artists community on his land where creative people could come for a residency. This started drawing people onto the property, then as he started planting trees on the steep hills of the property, with the help of the resident artists and creatives he needed a way to get water up to the top of the hills so that he could water his seedlings until they were established enough to survive on their own. Here, Barry was brilliant. Instead of building a boring old network of pipes and pumping the water up Barry decided to build a miniature railway track and train and so was born The Driving Creek Railway (https://drivingcreek.nz/?gclid=CjwK...HCNBbaY6pDQv0ip6uLZwdUCXlpNh1m6RoCME8QAvD_BwE) now a major tourist attraction on the Coromandel peninsula. This attraction brings thousands of people to the property and when they come they hear Barry's story about his idea for creating an original Kauri forest for Kiwi kids and every now and then one of these visitors steps forward and says "Wow, what a neat idea, how can I help?"

Perhaps a note for people wanting to share a new idea, try to be a bit like Barry and express your idea in a way that others might see a place for themselves in your idea.

Buen Camino!
Dear DoughnutANZ and others,

Thank you for the tremendous explanations and insight into the nonlinear thinkers. As a marine engineer, when the alarms sound, the problem needs to be analyzed and solution implemented, often within seconds, or the machine may fail catastrophically and the ship's propeller could stop. An aircraft pilot would need to be even more expedient. I sometimes am amazed when my brilliant answers to someone's dilemma are met with indifference or even scorn. So:

Here's to you as good as you are,
And here's to me, as bad as I am;
But as good as you are,
And as bad as I am,
I'm as good as you are,
As bad as I am!
 
"I am a problem solver and so my automatic way of behaving when I come across an idea that I am interested in is to first work out why it might not work so that I can then find a way of getting the idea to work."

That's one definition, I suppose! :) I do know a whole lot of problem solvers who go at it from the "how can make this work" angle from the get-go, however.
 
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When you go into a particular issue @Kathar1na you don’t mess about! I’ve been impressed with your research skills multiple times in replies in this forum. Always well reasoned and supported by evidence. Incredible. Thank you 😊
@Kathar1na is a forum treasure!
 
I think the division often rests upon linear thinkers versus non-linear thinkers. Linear thinkers are people who love solving problems using traditional methods of problem solving. They don't like to reinvent the wheel when it comes to physics, math, and chemistry. Think of them as people who enjoy designing airplanes. Non-linear thinkers are people who tend not to pay attention to rules, norms, and expectations of others. They use their passion to find solutions. Think of them as artists, singers, and writers.

Whenever I board a flight to Paris, I think to myself, thank God that a linear thinker designed this plane. And when I walk into the Museum d'Orsay a few hours later to look at the magnificent work of the Impressionists, I think to myself, thank God for non-linear thinkers.

Linear thinkers make living life possible. Non-Linear thinkers make living life worthwhile.
I love this analogy Robert! My husband is a linear thinker and it's all he can do to not go into all the technical issues whereas I am often just asking for a yes or no answer to start--and then I can follow the convoluted reasons why, how, where, etc. (not at all sure that what I am writing here makes sense to anyone but me :- ))
 
I worked for years in restaurants and hotels and had often thought I'd love to own a little B&B. Cute garden, homemade preserves, blah blah blah. And then I really thought about it and the nightmare of dealing with dietary requirements and preferences and decided I am way too lazy and cantankerous to want to deal with it. :D

There's an amusing book called Don't Stop the Carnival by Herman Wouk that chronicles the foibles of a gentleman who decides after a lovely Caribbean holiday that he should buy a small hotel. Things go as well as you'd expect :D Reading it helped solidify my desire to not run a B&B, especially one in a foreign country where things are run in a manner different from my expectations. Working at a hotel in the Caribbean where my expectations of how quickly staff should respond to guests or my expectations on staff coming into work when it was raining really hammered home the cultural differences.

I still love the fantasy of owning a B&B or an Albergue and will occasionally play the game of "what if.." or "wouldn't it be nice if..." and enjoy that as a way to to kill an afternoon or two. I generally try not to stomp on someone's great idea, I'll read the post and move along.

But...if we're talking about things we'd like to see on Camino, I'd love for someone to set up a handful of massage chairs and offer 15 minute massages to peregrinos to soothe our aches and pains at the end of the day. I am willing to pay for it!! :D
 
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I think what I really like about this forum is I can ignore what I want and just read what interests me. When people go into great explanation ( like a 15 minute or so read) about things that don't interest me I ignore most of the thread. But that's me. Obviously others like deep explanations of things. I'm cool with that. But I can generally learn things that matter to me, like available accommodation etc. Like comments on most news sights ait ppears to me a lot of people like, to borrow a football phrase, going deep.
 
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Some people come to forums like this to discuss ideas, impressions, or memories. Some come looking for advice, or to share their wisdom.
Some come with a clear idea or opinion. They want an audience. They do not want advice, or wisdom, or other opinions about their ideas.
They want applause, and maybe others to sign on to their dream.
Anything but wild applause is an insult, so if sufficient amounts of Amen are not heard, they go off in a huff and are not seen again.
I think this is endemic to internet forums. It's not so bad here, but I know of a few other pages where the cheering sections are well-developed and very dull reading indeed.
 
Sometimes, like in this (closed) thread 'Let's Start A Pilgrim's Albergue in Santiago de Compostela!' https://www.caminodesantiago.me/com...rims-albergue-in-santiago-de-compostela.61752/
by @Daniel Beaumont people come up with good ideas that quickly get shot down on the forum and sometimes, as a result, the original poster leaves as suggested in this conversation between @henrythedog and @alexwalker Post in thread 'Let's Start A Pilgrim's Albergue in Santiago de Compostela!' https://www.caminodesantiago.me/com...-in-santiago-de-compostela.61752/post-1104954
Now sometimes the initial criticism is people who disagree with the idea and want to suppress it but, fortunately, this doesn't happen too often here. I suspect that more often it is people commenting while in "Problem Solver" mode. Let me explain.

I am a problem solver and I am very good at that (as are some others btw) but sometimes I get so into solving problems that I start operating automatically and soon the world about me starts to occur as a continuous stream of problems that need solving. This has some major downsides because that isn't how the world occurs for others.

This was bought home to me very powerfully some years ago when one of my daughters came to me very happy and excited to tell me about this fabulous new idea that she had. I started commenting on her idea and as I spoke I could see her excited face crumple as I spoke. Fortunately, I caught myself, stopped commenting on her idea and asked her what was wrong. She said "you are always critical, why can't you believe in someone else's ideas?"

I thought about this for a moment and to be honest I was taken aback because I didn't think that I was being critical but then putting myself in her place I could see that she would think that my comments were critical. I apologised to her and asked her to explain her idea to me and I concentrated on just listening to her.

After we had finished discussing her idea I explained to her two related things. The first thing was that the opposite of love isn't hate, it is indifference and similarly the significance of an idea is not measured by the number of supportive comments vs critical comments but by the total number of any comments because who can be bothered commenting on something that you are indifferent to? I then explained that I am a problem solver and so my automatic way of behaving when I come across an idea that I am interested in is to first work out why it might not work so that I can then find a way of getting the idea to work. I asked her to keep this in mind and whenever she found me to be critical then she should point this out to me so that I stop being an automatic problem solver but remain able to solve problems when this is needed.

I suspect that there are lots of problem solvers on this forum and that sometimes us problem solvers need reminding that we should hold off being critical of new ideas until there is enough support for an idea that it can survive a little criticism.

BTW, I am interested in problem solving as an area of research and I have come across one method for solving certain hard problems.

Some problems (or projects if you like) are inherently difficult for one person to complete. As an example, Barry Brickell OBE was a Kiwi potter and conservationist, (https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Barry_Brickell). Barry had an idea one day, his idea was that he wanted to create a Kauri forest for the children of Aotearoa where they could experience what it was like to be in a native forest before there were mammalian predators in this land (as told to me in direct conversation).

We need to know something about Kauri forests to see the inherent difficulty in this idea. Kauri trees (https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Agathis_australis) take hundreds of years to grow to maturity and a Kauri forest may well take a thousand years to properly establish. Us mere individual humans, including Barry, would be long dead before this project completes.

Barry knew that he needed two things for this idea to come to fruit. Firstly he needed to express his idea in such a compelling manner that some people, on hearing his idea, would want to step in and say, "what a really neat idea, what can I do to help?" Secondly, he needed to create an environment around his idea that would act as a conduit to bring people to the place where he was creating the forest so that they could hear this compelling message and choose to step in to help and to carry on this idea after Barry's death. This environment also needed to be self sustaining financially.

Being a potter himself, Barry's first action was to create an artists community on his land where creative people could come for a residency. This started drawing people onto the property, then as he started planting trees on the steep hills of the property, with the help of the resident artists and creatives he needed a way to get water up to the top of the hills so that he could water his seedlings until they were established enough to survive on their own. Here, Barry was brilliant. Instead of building a boring old network of pipes and pumping the water up Barry decided to build a miniature railway track and train and so was born The Driving Creek Railway (https://drivingcreek.nz/?gclid=CjwK...HCNBbaY6pDQv0ip6uLZwdUCXlpNh1m6RoCME8QAvD_BwE) now a major tourist attraction on the Coromandel peninsula. This attraction brings thousands of people to the property and when they come they hear Barry's story about his idea for creating an original Kauri forest for Kiwi kids and every now and then one of these visitors steps forward and says "Wow, what a neat idea, how can I help?"

Perhaps a note for people wanting to share a new idea, try to be a bit like Barry and express your idea in a way that others might see a place for themselves in your idea.

Buen Camino!
I know a man named Joseph who came from Brazil and runs a hotel in Molineseca. He especially welcomes pilgrims, and he will bless you and give you his contact info, so if you have problems along the Way, call him, and he will do his best to help you.

Have you met Emma from Ireland who walked the Camino and then stayed in Hornillos to open a restaurant named The Green Tree to serve phenomenal and unique dinners to pilgrims. She later sold it and bought a hotel in Hontanas to cater to Pilgrims.

Do you know Helena who walked the Camino and then in bought an old house in Azqueta and transformed it into a unique albergue with all single beds and home cooked meals for pilgrims.

You may have encountered Mau who came from a small village in Italy decades ago to walk the Caminos. Now he builds sanctuaries of peace and quiet to be enjoyed by others. His House of Silence in Castrojeriz may beckon you and invite you to enter its cool stillness on a busy hot afternoon.

Jesus stayed for a time in Granon to take over an albergue when the owner got sick.

There are numerous others who do the impractical and impossible. Whether linear or nonlinear, they succeeded. Don’t mess with people’s dreams; they just may come true.
 
Very nice post DoughnutANZ. I am similar.

>> I asked her to keep this in mind and whenever she found me to be critical then she should point this out to me so that I stop being an automatic problem solver but remain able to solve problems when this is needed.
>>

That is a great statement, hope it worked.
 
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I know a man named Joseph who came from Brazil and runs a hotel in Molineseca. He especially welcomes pilgrims, and he will bless you and give you his contact info, so if you have problems along the Way, call him, and he will do his best to help you.

Have you met Emma from Ireland who walked the Camino and then stayed in Hornillos to open a restaurant named The Green Tree to serve phenomenal and unique dinners to pilgrims. She later sold it and bought a hotel in Hontanas to cater to Pilgrims.

Do you know Helena who walked the Camino and then in bought an old house in Azqueta and transformed it into a unique albergue with all single beds and home cooked meals for pilgrims.

You may have encountered Mau who came from a small village in Italy decades ago to walk the Caminos. Now he builds sanctuaries of peace and quiet to be enjoyed by others. His House of Silence in Castrojeriz may beckon you and invite you to enter its cool stillness on a busy hot afternoon.

Jesus stayed for a time in Granon to take over an albergue when the owner got sick.

There are numerous others who do the impractical and impossible. Whether linear or nonlinear, they succeeded. Don’t mess with people’s dreams; they just may come true.
More bookmakers than gamblers have swimming pools and the ‘impossible’ cannot be done. That’s not (unusually for me) cynical.

I agree that dreams (which is actually quite a dismissive term - perhaps ‘aspirations’) should be encouraged; as should research.
 
I humbly offer:

Before speaking, THINK.

Is it True?
Is it Helpful?
Is it Inspiring?
Is it Necessary?
Is it Kind?
Well, fair enough. But how about " Is it funny?" Which may mean excluding one of the others
( you choose which....) Because the world would certainly be a quieter place if we lived by those admittedly noble principles, and dare I say, a more boring one. I do believe there is also a place for humour, which by its very nature is not always kind or inspiring.
 
Well, fair enough. But how about " Is it funny?" Which may mean excluding one of the others
@Barbara, @Tammom is paraphrasing guidelines on speech offerred by the Buddha - all of what they listed, except the inspiring part. The guidelines are aspirational, and a practice. The Buddha's thing was more about harmony than humor - but he was far from humorless.

( you choose which....) Because the world would certainly be a quieter place if we lived by those admittedly noble principles, and dare I say, a more boring one. I do believe there is also a place for humour, which by its very nature is not always kind or inspiring.
Not which, but both. Kind humor is a such a wonderful thing. In this book Desmond Tutu and the Dalai Lama sound like they spent the whole week together laughing - and teasing each other with a lot of respect.
 
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Well, fair enough. But how about " Is it funny?"
Great, if only what I think is thigh-slappingly hilarious were equally as amusing to its readers. Sadly, a lot of people think they are being funny (or claim to be) when they are just being offensive. I know, I've been pulled up for it myself.
 
Doughnut, I identify. In college I felt comfortable with the definition that intelligence was the ability to solve problems. After my stint in the military I became comfortable with intelligence being the ability to recognize that you have a problem to solve. Then you can look for help in solving the problem.
 
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Well, fair enough. But how about " Is it funny?" Which may mean excluding one of the others
( you choose which....) Because the world would certainly be a quieter place if we lived by those admittedly noble principles, and dare I say, a more boring one. I do believe there is also a place for humour, which by its very nature is not always kind or inspiring.
I'm good with humour that isn't true, or isn't helpful (although often it is), or isn't inspiring, or isn't necessary. But when it is truly unkind, I tend to find it unfunny.
 
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Very nice post DoughnutANZ. I am similar.

>> I asked her to keep this in mind and whenever she found me to be critical then she should point this out to me so that I stop being an automatic problem solver but remain able to solve problems when this is needed.
>>

That is a great statement, hope it worked.
Yes, sort of. My oldest daughter showed talent as an athlete from around the age of 11 and I supported her in this endeavour. She trained at least three afternoons a week without her coach at a training facility that I needed to drive her to and then trained once a week with her coach at a facility even further away then most weekends I drove her to competitions and so we spent much more time together than I did with my other two children at this time.

We spent hours together in the car and then onsite at either the training facilities or the competitions and so we had lots of conversations together and on a couple of occasions, at least, she was confident enough to call me out and as a result we had a much deeper relationship than would otherwise have been the case.

My issue is that most of the time I am operating on autopilot and I am not thinking about how things that I say or do are being received by someone else but I am committed to being in partnership and having fun with my kids and my communities and so I often appreciate being called out if I am not operating out of partnership and fun.

I once set myself a goal of actively thinking about every action, no matter how small or insignificant, to test myself against if the action/words I was contemplating doing/saying were in alignment with my commitment to partnership and fun. I managed to do this for a week, mostly 100% of the time. It was an extraordinary week for me in so many ways but it was also extraordinarily tiring having to do so much conscious thinking before acting and at the end of the week I went back to being usual me.

Being fully actualised is very hard work!
 

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