@Georgina77
Thank you so much for sharing your story ... and it touched me to the core of my heart Your story resonates with some of my life journey too........ ..... Isnt it difficult being a single parent? My husband walked out on us when my kids were 4 years old and 18 months too, so I do know how hard it is to struggle being a lone parent.....Being of Chinese origin and alone in the UK, I could not tell my parents (and siblings) about my husband leaving as in Chinese society, it meant that I was not good enough for him, hence his leaving me for another woman. Indeed, I could not tell anybody - I continued going to work and engaged an au pair to look after the kids, whilst struggling to juggle 3 jobs to bring in the money to survive. Indeed, my daughter remembers us selling books (one of my 3 jobs) in after school clubs.... and my son remembers pulling books in a baby cart to exhibit our books in a stall.. Mum died few months later (and Father 5 years after that) , and of course, she told me that she knew that my ex had left - indeed everyone suspected as he no longer accompanied us on our nfrequent trips home to the Far East. Today, I feel my parents (who are both deceased) guiding me all the time. Whenever I had a problem, I would ask my parents for advice, and after a while, I usually come up with a solution..... that I felt I had mulled over with my parents. When my ex left, I decided to bring my kids up the way I was brought up - the Chinese way (I was never a tiger mum but my kids did get strings of As)........ today my kids are well balanced and doing extremely well in their chosen fields.... and I thank my parents, my siblings and the Universe for such blessings. We are doing very well, and I have been able to choose to retire in my 50s and I also wish my ex every happiness in his life..
Life is such a journey.... when my mum first passed, I used to dream of her quite a lot. When she was dying, I went home and she woke up and asked for me and then she died. I think she was very worried about me, but she could see that I was ok. She spoke about kindness and goodness and I am sooooo grateful to my dear wonderful parents.
When my ex husband first told me he wanted to leave us in December 1999, I was stunned..... I had not suspected anything (talking about self aware!
) but very calmly told him if that was what he desired, he should leave as we were not chained together. My daughter was very upset (father-daughter relationshoip!) and I had been haunted that I never tried to stop him going or had suggested counselling for my children's sake. My daughter went to live with them for 7 months when she was 16 and then came home. I am now content that my decision then was right for all of us.
I am not a Christian or a Catholic, and I was brought up in a Taoist Theravadian household, and educated in a Convent as a child. Indeed, I do relate to Catholicism as I find it has a lot os similarity to Buddhism. One of the precepts that Buddhists practise is generosity...... and every time we give, we get back more in so many ways.
I think, maybe, we need some guidance in life and deep faith in some God or Being. For me, I know I do, and am truly grateful to my parents and the Universe. And, walking the Camino allows me to feel surrounded and enveloped by that Being...
Ginette