When I first joined the forum 10 years ago, there didn't seem to be many people on it who had never been walking, never been away from home/out of state, never travelled without their spouse, never been backpacking. There seemed to be quite a mixed bag of Europeans then, who had done hiking before and were interested in the pilgrimage as a bigger, wider, more rounded experience.
There is now a definite takeover by more needy and idealistic people from outside Europe who are looking for more support and hand holding, help with making the simplest decisions, someone to look up bus and train timetables for them, someone to tell them will it be hot, what to 'do' about bed bugs, which are the 'best albergues' and the 'top picks' of places 'not to miss' and a whole lot of emotional crutch stuff. They all want to do the French way and start at SJPP 'like in the film'. They want to be told that everything will be fine, of course they will always find a bed, it's perfectly safe and the camino provides. Not that it can be unbearable at times, you will hate other pilgrims sometimes so much that you do and say bad things, and that there can be thieves and flashers.
I am helpful to the newbies out of a sense of public spirit, but really I am on the forum for selfish reasons - to read about alternative routes and cool adventures by the likes of
@timr and
@shawn corrigan and get ideas for my next walks.
Sorry if this sounds uncharitable, but I do honestly wish there was some kind of interactive resource you had to do before joining, which covered the basics. And I wish there wasn't quite such a la la land atmosphere on here, where one or two negative statements gets a thread closed down by the moderators. Being positive is good. So is being truthful.
not900 - not sounding uncharitable at all to these ol' ears -
and thank you for pointing to - what i happen to view as one of the most thorny of roots - the cultural flavour differences of behaviour, conduct and expression and the resulting mis-understandings / presumptions / assumptions and regular mess that can stem from that.
I really appreciate your post and comment!
just because we all communicate in english (mostly) it does not mean we understand/speak it the same way.
my english comes with the euro-continental blend of an assortment of frank, slightly wicked humour, tongue-in-cheek, forthright, and non-fluff and low-on-sweetish.
Many years ago an american woman, living in italy, married to an italian - clued me in, after my laments about some 'issues' i have had in a job. She said that my way of being/talking is perceived as "confrontational" in a place like california.
I can still hear the sound of my jaw dropping onto the floor...
she then also stated that of course, precisely that way of being/talking is perceived in europe as having an adult conversation. No one would bat an eye . or find it unusual or offensive or 'confrontational'.
Needless to say, I had a steep learning curve ...
In my observation, and to quote a dutch lady married to an american man, living here, "kids, where i grew up in holland, were raised to be truthful. kids here are raised to be nice.".
well, i am many things, but i don't believe that 'nice' (in the hallmarky-disney sort of way in which all is always working out, no cloud ever on the sky, and if ... the sun shines surely again in the next installment of life.) is one of those things/attributes.
anyway - just something to keep in mind (myself included) when cruising this forum or any other public place.
(and may i add an example in point: Judgmental.
this li'l word here is swung like a hammer of doom over your head (heaven forbid anyone would call another person judgmental - it's the kiss of death or worse) whenever one would dare to state something plain and simple and mostly, obvious.
reg that word there are nuances that do not show in english (as far as my knowledge reaches) -
in the way we learned english decades ago - judgement was used in the sense of 'assessment'.
one makes a judgement call, right? using discrimination, discernment ... and then i judge the best next step for whatever scenario.
Yet what i've experienced here alot is this judgement equal condeming/condemnation.
which is not the same thing - and not ever intended.
And if it were, my english teachers have something to answer for
We all judge all the time - the moment we get up: is the weather warm or cold? based on that judgement (aka assessment) we choose our wardrobe (hopefully!)
does that make us a condemmer of the weather?)
I observe here that people do not share/tell what their experience is of a certain matter, for e.g at work, for fear being called judgemental -
all this said - in this discussion about points, etc ... lets please consider the while we speak the same language, our cultural conditioning might not be the same.
makes sense ? (speaking as an english 3rd language person)
