- Time of past OR future Camino
- Camino Frances (2022)
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Be careful Tinc....have you seen the prices of some of those dresses?As an old friend of mine once remarked: "Me and my wife, we are equal. If she wants a new dress she can buy a new dress. If I want a new car I can buy a new car..."
After over 40 years together The Beloved and I tend to do what we want to do, and tend to support each others choices.
Mrs Henrythedog and I think time together is important, but also time apart. We try to encourage each other in what they choose to do. We each have a modest ‘none of your business’ budget which funds our ‘selfish’ projects.On arriving in Santiago at the end of my Camino I bumped into a Pilgrim I had met a few days earlier. We had an interesting conversation where he asked me whether I considered my decision to walk the Camino Frances to be a selfish act. He made the point that in choosing to walk for six weeks without my husband that I had spent money and time on myself. Did I think that I was choosing 'me' over 'us'? Was it not really a case of self-indulgence? I have to confess that initially I was quite insulted but it actually got me thinking. I really had never considered it in that way.
My husband was very supportive of my choice. He does not feel the call himself though he would very much enjoy the walking and the camaraderie. In fact I had planned we would walk the Camino Ingles and after to Finisterre in June 2020 but we all know what happened to that!
I suppose I felt that since it was a pilgrimage rather than a holiday that I wasn't being frivolous or enjoying myself for six weeks whilst he slaved away at work. As it was my Camino was everything and more and brought me so much joy not to mention hardship and a realisation of my strengths and faults. As for my spiritual growth, it almost brings me to tears just thinking of what it showed me.
It still has me thinking though.
This is the kind of thing that makes my eyes narrow and shoot daggers. Who is this rude man who asked you such a thing? (that's rhetorical) As others have said, he has his own issues to work on.On arriving in Santiago at the end of my Camino I bumped into a Pilgrim I had met a few days earlier. We had an interesting conversation where he asked me whether I considered my decision to walk the Camino Frances to be a selfish act. He made the point that in choosing to walk for six weeks without my husband that I had spent money and time on myself. Did I think that I was choosing 'me' over 'us'? Was it not really a case of self-indulgence? I have to confess that initially I was quite insulted but it actually got me thinking. I really had never considered it in that way.
My husband was very supportive of my choice. He does not feel the call himself though he would very much enjoy the walking and the camaraderie. In fact I had planned we would walk the Camino Ingles and after to Finisterre in June 2020 but we all know what happened to that!
I suppose I felt that since it was a pilgrimage rather than a holiday that I wasn't being frivolous or enjoying myself for six weeks whilst he slaved away at work. As it was my Camino was everything and more and brought me so much joy not to mention hardship and a realisation of my strengths and faults. As for my spiritual growth, it almost brings me to tears just thinking of what it showed me.
It still has me thinking though.
I think the word 'selfish' has a negative connotation. But when you're doing the Camino on your own, it's for you. You knew the possibility of your mom's passing at any moment but you felt called to do it. You may do the Camino in honor of someone or for other people, but at the end of the day it is the person doing the walk who's going to make it happen and benefit from the joys and/or suffering of the day. It is your walk.On arriving in Santiago at the end of my Camino I bumped into a Pilgrim I had met a few days earlier. We had an interesting conversation where he asked me whether I considered my decision to walk the Camino Frances to be a selfish act. He made the point that in choosing to walk for six weeks without my husband that I had spent money and time on myself. Did I think that I was choosing 'me' over 'us'? Was it not really a case of self-indulgence? I have to confess that initially I was quite insulted but it actually got me thinking. I really had never considered it in that way.
My husband was very supportive of my choice. He does not feel the call himself though he would very much enjoy the walking and the camaraderie. In fact I had planned we would walk the Camino Ingles and after to Finisterre in June 2020 but we all know what happened to that!
I suppose I felt that since it was a pilgrimage rather than a holiday that I wasn't being frivolous or enjoying myself for six weeks whilst he slaved away at work. As it was my Camino was everything and more and brought me so much joy not to mention hardship and a realisation of my strengths and faults. As for my spiritual growth, it almost brings me to tears just thinking of what it showed me.
It still has me thinking though.
My wife was very supportive when I decided to walk the Camino. She has her life, I have mine and we gave ours. I would never think about denying her the opportunity to follow her dreams.On arriving in Santiago at the end of my Camino I bumped into a Pilgrim I had met a few days earlier. We had an interesting conversation where he asked me whether I considered my decision to walk the Camino Frances to be a selfish act. He made the point that in choosing to walk for six weeks without my husband that I had spent money and time on myself. Did I think that I was choosing 'me' over 'us'? Was it not really a case of self-indulgence? I have to confess that initially I was quite insulted but it actually got me thinking. I really had never considered it in that way.
My husband was very supportive of my choice. He does not feel the call himself though he would very much enjoy the walking and the camaraderie. In fact I had planned we would walk the Camino Ingles and after to Finisterre in June 2020 but we all know what happened to that!
I suppose I felt that since it was a pilgrimage rather than a holiday that I wasn't being frivolous or enjoying myself for six weeks whilst he slaved away at work. As it was my Camino was everything and more and brought me so much joy not to mention hardship and a realisation of my strengths and faults. As for my spiritual growth, it almost brings me to tears just thinking of what it showed me.
It still has me thinking though.
Some time ago I read a post from someone who had been criticised for choosing to walk a Camino at all. A self-indulgent waste of time and money that could be better spent serving others. If you do have to go walking why not do it closer to home and do some litter picking while you are at it? I have serious doubts about some peoples' urge to ostentatiously wear hairshirts and renounce personal enjoyment for themselves. I have even deeper misgivings about attempts to impose such things on others.He made the point that in choosing to walk for six weeks without my husband that I had spent money and time on myself. Did I think that I was choosing 'me' over 'us'? Was it not really a case of self-indulgence?
What was your response to him?On arriving in Santiago at the end of my Camino I bumped into a Pilgrim I had met a few days earlier. We had an interesting conversation where he asked me whether I considered my decision to walk the Camino Frances to be a selfish act. He made the point that in choosing to walk for six weeks without my husband that I had spent money and time on myself. Did I think that I was choosing 'me' over 'us'? Was it not really a case of self-indulgence? I have to confess that initially I was quite insulted but it actually got me thinking. I really had never considered it in that way.
My husband was very supportive of my choice. He does not feel the call himself though he would very much enjoy the walking and the camaraderie. In fact I had planned we would walk the Camino Ingles and after to Finisterre in June 2020 but we all know what happened to that!
I suppose I felt that since it was a pilgrimage rather than a holiday that I wasn't being frivolous or enjoying myself for six weeks whilst he slaved away at work. As it was my Camino was everything and more and brought me so much joy not to mention hardship and a realisation of my strengths and faults. As for my spiritual growth, it almost brings me to tears just thinking of what it showed me.
It still has me thinking though.
Haha surprised how we all jumped to our own conclusions without asking this basic response. Thanks for bringing this back around.What was your response to him?
Thanks LongRun, for sharing your thoughts about the question. As you imply, it is positive to consider other POVs about our actions.On arriving in Santiago at the end of my Camino I bumped into a Pilgrim I had met a few days earlier. We had an interesting conversation where he asked me whether I considered my decision to walk the Camino Frances to be a selfish act. He made the point that in choosing to walk for six weeks without my husband that I had spent money and time on myself. Did I think that I was choosing 'me' over 'us'? Was it not really a case of self-indulgence? I have to confess that initially I was quite insulted but it actually got me thinking. I really had never considered it in that way.
My husband was very supportive of my choice. He does not feel the call himself though he would very much enjoy the walking and the camaraderie. In fact I had planned we would walk the Camino Ingles and after to Finisterre in June 2020 but we all know what happened to that!
I suppose I felt that since it was a pilgrimage rather than a holiday that I wasn't being frivolous or enjoying myself for six weeks whilst he slaved away at work. As it was my Camino was everything and more and brought me so much joy not to mention hardship and a realisation of my strengths and faults. As for my spiritual growth, it almost brings me to tears just thinking of what it showed me.
It still has me thinking though.
Who knows, but anytime one is disciplined enough to ponder another's thought, this is a positive sign. To often, a person may take offense when receiving such a comment.As an old friend of mine once remarked: "Me and my wife, we are equal. If she wants a new dress she can buy a new dress. If I want a new car I can buy a new car..."
After over 40 years together The Beloved and I tend to do what we want to do, and tend to support each others choices.
On arriving in Santiago at the end of my Camino I bumped into a Pilgrim I had met a few days earlier. We had an interesting conversation where he asked me whether I considered my decision to walk the Camino Frances to be a selfish act. He made the point that in choosing to walk for six weeks without my husband that I had spent money and time on myself. Did I think that I was choosing 'me' over 'us'? Was it not really a case of self-indulgence?
Wow - I will say I relate to your message. I am almost finished my mishmash Camino of 30+ days. I say that because it has been a combo of bits and pieces plus the Aragones and Ingles. I believe that I am probably able to put aside the desire to return for a while as I have been fortunate to have come four times. My husband's is older than me and his knees are shot and is waiting for surgery, so it is not an option for him, but not that I need his permission and I know that he will feel happy when I am safely home. He understands that having done my first Camino after taking care of my Mom before her death, that it has become something that for me and for most people, there is a desire to return.On arriving in Santiago at the end of my Camino I bumped into a Pilgrim I had met a few days earlier. We had an interesting conversation where he asked me whether I considered my decision to walk the Camino Frances to be a selfish act. He made the point that in choosing to walk for six weeks without my husband that I had spent money and time on myself. Did I think that I was choosing 'me' over 'us'? Was it not really a case of self-indulgence? I have to confess that initially I was quite insulted but it actually got me thinking. I really had never considered it in that way.
My husband was very supportive of my choice. He does not feel the call himself though he would very much enjoy the walking and the camaraderie. In fact I had planned we would walk the Camino Ingles and after to Finisterre in June 2020 but we all know what happened to that!
I suppose I felt that since it was a pilgrimage rather than a holiday that I wasn't being frivolous or enjoying myself for six weeks whilst he slaved away at work. As it was my Camino was everything and more and brought me so much joy not to mention hardship and a realisation of my strengths and faults. As for my spiritual growth, it almost brings me to tears just thinking of what it showed me.
It still has me thinking though.
Sorry but to me it is simply a very rude question! I assume you are female so was there a sense that it would have been asked to a man?On arriving in Santiago at the end of my Camino I bumped into a Pilgrim I had met a few days earlier. We had an interesting conversation where he asked me whether I considered my decision to walk the Camino Frances to be a selfish act. He made the point that in choosing to walk for six weeks without my husband that I had spent money and time on myself. Did I think that I was choosing 'me' over 'us'? Was it not really a case of self-indulgence? I have to confess that initially I was quite insulted but it actually got me thinking. I really had never considered it in that way.
My husband was very supportive of my choice. He does not feel the call himself though he would very much enjoy the walking and the camaraderie. In fact I had planned we would walk the Camino Ingles and after to Finisterre in June 2020 but we all know what happened to that!
I suppose I felt that since it was a pilgrimage rather than a holiday that I wasn't being frivolous or enjoying myself for six weeks whilst he slaved away at work. As it was my Camino was everything and more and brought me so much joy not to mention hardship and a realisation of my strengths and faults. As for my spiritual growth, it almost brings me to tears just thinking of what it showed me.
It still has me thinking though.
You could always tell him to mind his own business !On arriving in Santiago at the end of my Camino I bumped into a Pilgrim I had met a few days earlier. We had an interesting conversation where he asked me whether I considered my decision to walk the Camino Frances to be a selfish act. He made the point that in choosing to walk for six weeks without my husband that I had spent money and time on myself. Did I think that I was choosing 'me' over 'us'? Was it not really a case of self-indulgence? I have to confess that initially I was quite insulted but it actually got me thinking. I really had never considered it in that way.
My husband was very supportive of my choice. He does not feel the call himself though he would very much enjoy the walking and the camaraderie. In fact I had planned we would walk the Camino Ingles and after to Finisterre in June 2020 but we all know what happened to that!
I suppose I felt that since it was a pilgrimage rather than a holiday that I wasn't being frivolous or enjoying myself for six weeks whilst he slaved away at work. As it was my Camino was everything and more and brought me so much joy not to mention hardship and a realisation of my strengths and faults. As for my spiritual growth, it almost brings me to tears just thinking of what it showed me.
It still has me thinking though.
Have you considered that your fruitful pilgrimage might be an investment in your marriage? BTW, my spouse did it with our son and without me. A blessing for all of usOn arriving in Santiago at the end of my Camino I bumped into a Pilgrim I had met a few days earlier. We had an interesting conversation where he asked me whether I considered my decision to walk the Camino Frances to be a selfish act. He made the point that in choosing to walk for six weeks without my husband that I had spent money and time on myself. Did I think that I was choosing 'me' over 'us'? Was it not really a case of self-indulgence? I have to confess that initially I was quite insulted but it actually got me thinking. I really had never considered it in that way.
My husband was very supportive of my choice. He does not feel the call himself though he would very much enjoy the walking and the camaraderie. In fact I had planned we would walk the Camino Ingles and after to Finisterre in June 2020 but we all know what happened to that!
I suppose I felt that since it was a pilgrimage rather than a holiday that I wasn't being frivolous or enjoying myself for six weeks whilst he slaved away at work. As it was my Camino was everything and more and brought me so much joy not to mention hardship and a realisation of my strengths and faults. As for my spiritual growth, it almost brings me to tears just thinking of what it showed me.
It still has me thinking though.
Well initially I was very quick to deny it. Pointing out that my Camino was a very personal choice that my husband did not share at this time. That I had saved for it and was living frugally intentionally so to stay in my budget. That our relationship was such that we were fully supportive of our individual choices and we would never deny each other any opportunity to do anything that we really wanted to do. Even if that meant missing someone dreadfully for a while.What was your response to him?
This. Oh, SOOO much this!I thought I was going on the Camino to work out what I was going to do for the rest of my life. It turned out I was on the Camino to realise how I was going to be for the rest of my life.
And then I remembered that I'm an adult and don't have to explain myself to anyone!
Context and manner are important. I think that the OP has now explained that the question was not presented in a rude way - rather as a subject for discussion such as the discussion we are having here on this thread.Sorry but to me it is simply a very rude question! I assume you are female so was there a sense that it would have been asked to a man?
I'm a newbie as being a Camino pilgrim but your statement above distilled what it means to do the Camino imho: To be vs to do.But really you have to understand the call of the Camino. I thought I was going on the Camino to work out what I was going to do for the rest of my life. It turned out I was on the Camino to realise how I was going to be for the rest of my life.
If you got something profound out of the camino, that will affect all your relationships in life at home - starting with the one with your husband. We relate to others in the most balanced way when we have a balanced relationship with ourselves first. So, lots of people do retreats or walk a camino and come out much better able to embody kindness in their lives.It still has me thinking though.
And then I remembered that I'm an adult and don't have to explain myself to anyone!
It sounds like you may have already answered your question.So I think he just wanted to understand why a person would want to go away for 5-6 weeks away from their partner. But really you have to understand the call of the Camino. I thought I was going on the Camino to work out what I was going to do for the rest of my life. It turned out I was on the Camino to realise how I was going to be for the rest of my life.
Thank you! I have not gathered that view from the OP to be honest but if that’s the case that is fine. I assume the OP is a woman and was interested if she felt that question would be asked of a man?Context and manner are important. I think that the OP has now explained that the question was not presented in a rude way - rather as a subject for discussion such as the discussion we are having here on this thread.
Yes you make an interesting point there. I did think that actually. Which also makes me think about how differently some people perceive a female leaving a partner at home as regards to a male. My husband was quite insulted at the number of people asking him how he was managing without me. Not to mention all the wisecracks about getting takeaways. The presumption that he couldn't possibly function alone.and was interested if she felt that question would be asked of a man?
A few years ago my wife made a huge journey overland to visit family members in Thailand and China. With side trips to Singapore, Korea and Japan. And also to meet internet friends face to face in Belarus and Finland. Almost ten months there and back overland. A trip of a lifetime which I did not grudge her in the slightest. I am quite capable of most domestic tasks and I would be a little miffed at the suggestion I can't look after myself too!Yes you make an interesting point there. I did think that actually. Which also makes me think about how differently some people perceive a female leaving a partner at home as regards to a male. My husband was quite insulted at the number of people asking him how he was managing without me. Not to mention all the wisecracks about getting takeaways. The presumption that he couldn't possibly function alone.
Thank you! That was my initial take actually but didn’t want to presume anything that unfairly labelled the person you spoke to! I understand your husband feeling insulted. Whilst I know it’s jokey, knockabout stuff, it does tie into so many stereotypical narratives that do actually support rampant sexism! Men can’t cope, why aren’t women managing the house etc!Yes you make an interesting point there. I did think that actually. Which also makes me think about how differently some people perceive a female leaving a partner at home as regards to a male. My husband was quite insulted at the number of people asking him how he was managing without me. Not to mention all the wisecracks about getting takeaways. The presumption that he couldn't possibly function alone.
One thing I value is what I might call ' outrageous feedback' because it gives me pause to really reflect on, assess and reconsider my viewpoint. That can only be good for me in that it allows me to expand my thinking while at the same time refine my understanding. Good for you in giving yourself the gift of ongoing reflection.On arriving in Santiago at the end of my Camino I bumped into a Pilgrim I had met a few days earlier. We had an interesting conversation where he asked me whether I considered my decision to walk the Camino Frances to be a selfish act. He made the point that in choosing to walk for six weeks without my husband that I had spent money and time on myself. Did I think that I was choosing 'me' over 'us'? Was it not really a case of self-indulgence? I have to confess that initially I was quite insulted but it actually got me thinking. I really had never considered it in that way.
My husband was very supportive of my choice. He does not feel the call himself though he would very much enjoy the walking and the camaraderie. In fact I had planned we would walk the Camino Ingles and after to Finisterre in June 2020 but we all know what happened to that!
I suppose I felt that since it was a pilgrimage rather than a holiday that I wasn't being frivolous or enjoying myself for six weeks whilst he slaved away at work. As it was my Camino was everything and more and brought me so much joy not to mention hardship and a realisation of my strengths and faults. As for my spiritual growth, it almost brings me to tears just thinking of what it showed me.
It still has me thinking though.
I must admit that my take too though I wasn’t there so who knows.Your first instinct was right, it was rude and intrusive and none of their business. I'd have given them short shrift
Context is everything here. Sometimes there is a personal connection even in a passing acquaintanceship which invites a degree of frankness which would normally be resented and rebuffed. An unpredictable alchemy rather than a science.Sounds to me like his question, maybe a bit clumsy, was out of genuine interest and not intending to be rude or intrusive.
As usual, you express thing SO well!As an old friend of mine once remarked: "Me and my wife, we are equal. If she wants a new dress she can buy a new dress. If I want a new car I can buy a new car..."
After over 40 years together The Beloved and I tend to do what we want to do, and tend to support each others choices.
On arriving in Santiago at the end of my Camino I bumped into a Pilgrim I had met a few days earlier. We had an interesting conversation where he asked me whether I considered my decision to walk the Camino Frances to be a selfish act. He made the point that in choosing to walk for six weeks without my husband that I had spent money and time on myself. Did I think that I was choosing 'me' over 'us'? Was it not really a case of self-indulgence? I have to confess that initially I was quite insulted but it actually got me thinking. I really had never considered it in that way.
My husband was very supportive of my choice. He does not feel the call himself though he would very much enjoy the walking and the camaraderie. In fact I had planned we would walk the Camino Ingles and after to Finisterre in June 2020 but we all know what happened to that!
I suppose I felt that since it was a pilgrimage rather than a holiday that I wasn't being frivolous or enjoying myself for six weeks whilst he slaved away at work. As it was my Camino was everything and more and brought me so much joy not to mention hardship and a realisation of my strengths and faults. As for my spiritual growth, it almost brings me to tears just thinking of what it showed me.
It still has me thinking though.
The comment that I get - usually from other women, is that I'm "so brave" to walk the Camino solo. I can't imagine that they would say that to a man, and it's a strangely sexist comment from another woman.Which also makes me think about how differently some people perceive a female leaving a partner at home as regards to a male
There is a difference between selfishness and self-care. In improving yourself you contribute to the overall strength of your marriage relationship.On arriving in Santiago at the end of my Camino I bumped into a Pilgrim I had met a few days earlier. We had an interesting conversation where he asked me whether I considered my decision to walk the Camino Frances to be a selfish act. He made the point that in choosing to walk for six weeks without my husband that I had spent money and time on myself. Did I think that I was choosing 'me' over 'us'? Was it not really a case of self-indulgence? I have to confess that initially I was quite insulted but it actually got me thinking. I really had never considered it in that way.
My husband was very supportive of my choice. He does not feel the call himself though he would very much enjoy the walking and the camaraderie. In fact I had planned we would walk the Camino Ingles and after to Finisterre in June 2020 but we all know what happened to that!
I suppose I felt that since it was a pilgrimage rather than a holiday that I wasn't being frivolous or enjoying myself for six weeks whilst he slaved away at work. As it was my Camino was everything and more and brought me so much joy not to mention hardship and a realisation of my strengths and faults. As for my spiritual growth, it almost brings me to tears just thinking of what it showed me.
It still has me thinking though.
Where are they from??? I did not feel "brave" living in NYC, just careful. Have traveled in Europe alone, Camino and not, lived in Lisbon and Braga, and never felt "brave".. Glad for adventure, for seeing new things, etc. Traveling with Habitat for Humanity, I heard "Jane, why don't they.....?" and had a difficult time replying without sarcasm, I confess. But to try to be fair, we moved a lot in the US while I was in elementary school so learned early on there are differences right here. Dad helped me learn to be curious rather than threatened or critical.The comment that I get - usually from other women, is that I'm "so brave" to walk the Camino solo. I can't imagine that they would say that to a man, and it's a strangely sexist comment from another woman.
No, I'm not "brave" to travel solo to the Camino. It's my preference to walk the Camino as I wish without having to accommodate the needs and desires of another person.
On arriving in Santiago at the end of my Camino I bumped into a Pilgrim I had met a few days earlier. We had an interesting conversation where he asked me whether I considered my decision to walk the Camino Frances to be a selfish act. He made the point that in choosing to walk for six weeks without my husband that I had spent money and time on myself. Did I think that I was choosing 'me' over 'us'? Was it not really a case of self-indulgence? I have to confess that initially I was quite insulted but it actually got me thinking. I really had never considered it in that way.
My husband was very supportive of my choice. He does not feel the call himself though he would very much enjoy the walking and the camaraderie. In fact I had planned we would walk the Camino Ingles and after to Finisterre in June 2020 but we all know what happened to that!
I suppose I felt that since it was a pilgrimage rather than a holiday that I wasn't being frivolous or enjoying myself for six weeks whilst he slaved away at work. As it was my Camino was everything and more and brought me so much joy not to mention hardship and a realisation of my strengths and faults. As for my spiritual growth, it almost brings me to tears just thinking of what it showed me.
It still has me thinking though.
I think Northern Light has hit it on the head. When I first read your post I thought your friend needs to keep walking. This pilgrim still has alot of dust to sweep out of their head.Seems like the person who posed that question had their own issues to resolve.
Not wanting to burst your bubble here, but I regularly get that comment from both men and women. Perhaps I am looking more old and frail these days!!The comment that I get - usually from other women, is that I'm "so brave" to walk the Camino solo. I can't imagine that they would say that to a man, and it's a strangely sexist comment from another woman.
Well initially I was very quick to deny it. Pointing out that my Camino was a very personal choice that my husband did not share at this time. That I had saved for it and was living frugally intentionally so to stay in my budget. That our relationship was such that we were fully supportive of our individual choices and we would never deny each other any opportunity to do anything that we really wanted to do. Even if that meant missing someone dreadfully for a while.
....
Everyone has their own reason for walking a Camino and shouldn't (have to) feel selfish. Many of the responses here reflected how I also felt. A great discussion!But really you have to understand the call of the Camino. I thought I was going on the Camino to work out what I was going to do for the rest of my life. It turned out I was on the Camino to realise how I was going to be for the rest of my life.
It's generally good for a relationship to try to find things to do together. But to imply that doing something separately is selfish kind of goes too far.On arriving in Santiago at the end of my Camino I bumped into a Pilgrim I had met a few days earlier. We had an interesting conversation where he asked me whether I considered my decision to walk the Camino Frances to be a selfish act. He made the point that in choosing to walk for six weeks without my husband that I had spent money and time on myself. Did I think that I was choosing 'me' over 'us'? Was it not really a case of self-indulgence? I have to confess that initially I was quite insulted but it actually got me thinking. I really had never considered it in that way.
My husband was very supportive of my choice. He does not feel the call himself though he would very much enjoy the walking and the camaraderie. In fact I had planned we would walk the Camino Ingles and after to Finisterre in June 2020 but we all know what happened to that!
I suppose I felt that since it was a pilgrimage rather than a holiday that I wasn't being frivolous or enjoying myself for six weeks whilst he slaved away at work. As it was my Camino was everything and more and brought me so much joy not to mention hardship and a realisation of my strengths and faults. As for my spiritual growth, it almost brings me to tears just thinking of what it showed me.
It still has me thinking though.
Saint Agustine remarked " Many a righteous women set out on a pilgrimage but few righteous women completed a pilgrimage".It's generally good for a relationship to try to find things to do together. But to imply that doing something separately is selfish kind of goes too far.
Oh my! Are you trying to close this thread?Saint Agustine remarked " Many a righteous women set out on a pilgrimage but few righteous women completed a pilgrimage".
I'll venture to put the shoe on the other foot, as I will remark that surely the same could be said of men.Saint Agustine remarked " Many a righteous women set out on a pilgrimage but few righteous women completed a pilgrimage".
Nah he didn't, or at least I can't find any attributable source. That old philosopher was doing his stuff a good 400 years before the concept of pilgrimage slipped into the religious vernacular.Saint Agustine remarked " Many a righteous women set out on a pilgrimage but few righteous women completed a pilgrimage".
Certainly you may.Everyone has their own reason for walking a Camino and shouldn't (have to) feel selfish. Many of the responses here reflected how I also felt. A great discussion!
On another note - I loved(!) your last two sentences in this post and would like your permission to quote you in my blog at some point.So poignant!
I have just completed my fourth Camino and I did each alone. My wife is a keen gardener and spends as much on that as I do as a Pilgrim. Probably more, we don’t keep count. Would I like it if she joined me? YES - she would share in the experience that has given me so much. NO - I would have to do it her way. We talk about doing a short route, from Pont de Lima maybe, with prebooked accomadation and baggage transfer which is the opposite of the way I like to do it. So which of us is being selfish?On arriving in Santiago at the end of my Camino I bumped into a Pilgrim I had met a few days earlier. We had an interesting conversation where he asked me whether I considered my decision to walk the Camino Frances to be a selfish act. He made the point that in choosing to walk for six weeks without my husband that I had spent money and time on myself. Did I think that I was choosing 'me' over 'us'? Was it not really a case of self-indulgence? I have to confess that initially I was quite insulted but it actually got me thinking. I really had never considered it in that way.
My husband was very supportive of my choice. He does not feel the call himself though he would very much enjoy the walking and the camaraderie. In fact I had planned we would walk the Camino Ingles and after to Finisterre in June 2020 but we all know what happened to that!
I suppose I felt that since it was a pilgrimage rather than a holiday that I wasn't being frivolous or enjoying myself for six weeks whilst he slaved away at work. As it was my Camino was everything and more and brought me so much joy not to mention hardship and a realisation of my strengths and faults. As for my spiritual growth, it almost brings me to tears just thinking of what it showed me.
It still has me thinking though.
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