Knocking on doors to find a place to stay

[MinaKamina]

Am I the only one a little uncomfortable with this idea? It is one thing to accept hospitality when offered or help when needed, but to boldly knock on someone´s door and ask for a place to stay when you don´t need it goes against the grain for me. It could be construed as taking advantage of someone´s generosity and could easily be abused, especially when there is a clear wealth difference between the giver and the recipient in favour of the latter. If a total stranger knocked on your door one night, would you invite them in to stay the night?

Happened to me some years ago.
Late in the evening when I was about to leave with my dogs for a last walk, a stranger with an old bike showed up at my front door. He had lost his way, he was looking for a camp site. There is a holiday park with a camping area nearby, but they would be closed at this time of the night. I said he could put up his tent in the field next to the garden. He looks at me and says: I don't have a tent.

In the end, I offered him a bed. Not in the house, but in an old campervan. The next day, he refused to leave. 'I am going to stay a while,' he said. He did a lot of maintenance work in the campervan.

The experience was surreal. When he finally left - with a little help of a friend of mine - I realized that his strategy had been a mixture of ambush and grooming. Manipulation.

I no longer open the door for strangers.

 

[TravellingMan22]

Happened to me some years ago.
Late in the evening when I was about to leave with my dogs for a last walk, a stranger with an old bike showed up at my front door. He had lost his way, he was looking for a camp site. There is a holiday park with a camping area nearby, but they would be closed at this time of the night. I said he could put up his tent in the field next to the garden. He looks at me and says: I don't have a tent.

In the end, I offered him a bed. Not in the house, but in an old campervan. The next day, he refused to leave. 'I am going to stay a while,' he said. He did a lot of maintenance work in the campervan.

The experience was surreal. When he finally left - with a little help of a friend of mine - I realized that his strategy had been a mixture of ambush and grooming. Manipulation.

I no longer open the door for strangers.

Couldn’t you just refuse him, or at worst next day just kick him out?

 

[dick bird]

Couldn’t you just refuse him, or at worst next day just kick him out?

There are two types of con artist. One type exploits greed. The other exploits sympathy.

 

[TravellingMan22]

There are two types of con artist. One type exploits greed. The other exploits sympathy.

Absolutely so offer them nothing!

 

[HARMINIA]

My husband and I live in a very small village on the Camino Frances. We do not have an albergue, but people knock on our door with some frequency. If they aren't drunk or covered in blood, we usually let them come in. Sometimes they stay.
Usually they find us because a neighbor showed them the way over. If we don't feel like having guests for some reason, we'll give them money to get a bed at one of the albergues. If the albergues are closed, we'll give them a ride into Sahagun, or call a cab for them if they have money.
So far, after 17 years, nothing horrible has happened to us.
This is radical hospitality. It's how the Camino has worked for a thousand years. Pilgrims sometimes have to roll the dice and take a chance. And sometimes the homeowner does, too. More often than not it's a win/win.

 

[SabsP]

There are two types of con artist. One type exploits greed. The other exploits sympathy.

And there is only one true Caritas. Combined with empathy and gut feeling they make a powerful combination.

 

[Mycroft]

Never say never, but most likely I would not ask a private household if I might sleep there unless there was something quite wrong with the surroundings or circumstance.
Having said that, I recall many years ago staying at a former boys school while on one of my caminos. While it had individual rooms (shared bathroom), it was a horrible place and scary. Very overpriced, and owned and managed by a man who looked the caricature of a gangster and had an attitude to match. It was not an albergue, but the woman at the Tourist Office said that is where she directed pilgrims. Anyone who had the means and needed a roof overhead stayed there. In the middle of the night I was awakened by heavy footsteps and banging doors, followed by a very loud, drunken voice speaking into his cell phone. After a half hour of this (plus various background noises such as a pocketful of coins spilling on the floor, accompanied by heavy swearing), I decided to knock on the door of the next room to ask if he would lower his voice. To my surprise I found the light coming from under his door was not in the room next to mine but two doors away. His bellowing voice had fooled me. I tapped on the door. When it opened, I literally gasped and stood frozen for a moment. There stood a brute of man who looked like he could and would kill someone if provoked. I motioned if he would lower his voice, he said F*** You! and slammed his door.
If the Tourist Office had not been a mile back, I would have warned the them not to send people to that location.
When I left in the morning, I remember that a couple of blocks away, I passed a row house that had a few symbols of the Camino on and around the door. Something told me that if I had stopped to ask them about places to stay, they would have helped. If I were hard pressed on a future camino, I, without hesitation, would look for a similar Camino Friendly abode to ask for advice. I later learnt that there are/were local groups of folks in some towns who unofficially helped pilgrims, if one is lucky enough to hear about them and how to contact them.
On a different camino, I arrived on a weekend at a small town in Portugal that was celebrating its saint's day. Everyone and his dog was there, and 'there was no room at the inn.' I remembered that years ago pilgrims would be allowed to stay on the floors of fire stations if need be, but the practice had gone out of favor. Just then I came upon a quartel de bombeiro. I do not speak Portuguese, so the fire fighters who happened to be outside brought me indoors to one of their colleagues who spoke English. I explained my predicament (now joined by two other pilgrims), and she discussed things with her fellow fire fighters. They called their captain, who said absolutely, positively no. She and another fire fighter brought us to a park to wait while they contacted many private homes in town, to no avail. They walked us around different neighborhoods. Still no luck and by then we were joined by 11 German pilgrims. Back to the fire station, and another phone call to the chief, who relented and allowed us to stay upstairs in a wooden floored dance auditorium that had nearby bathrooms. I found a few gym mats and dragged one into my space and was about to tell my two companions to go into the bathroom to get the others when one of the Germans saw me, shouted to her companions there were mats, and that groups rushed to the bathrooms and scored the rest. The firefighters could not have been more helpful and pleasant. It was nice to find that occasionally old ways will pop through our sometimes restrictive times.
The long and the short of it is, I still believe the Camino provides.

 

[WGroleau]

the chances of meeting a gun toting maniac are infinitessly small!

(referring to knocking on doors). True in Spain. Not true in USA!!
But whether in Spain or USA, I wouldn’t knock on a stranger’s door unless there was a true emergency.
Even then, I would first yell loudly to see whether anyone responds.

 

[WGroleau]

You can always take a taxi to the next village

If you have a way to contact them, and know the phone number, and are willing to pay for them to come from another village/city, and they are willing to do so. As hospitaleros, we had the phone numbers and made that call often for peregrinos who didn’t have the phone number (when we had no beds left). Rarely had a taxista refuse, but the closest was twelve kilometers away.

 

[David Tallan]

If I am going to travel across an ocean and don't have a few extra euros for a taxi, a bus, or a trip to the doctor, I have done myself an enormous disservice by not planning well enough to take care of myself when the inevitable challenge happens.

I get pilgrimage. I get sacrifice. I also get not setting yourself up to fail if something goes pearshaped...and something always will.

Not everyone travels across an ocean for their pilgrimage. I expect few who are starting their pilgrimage in the Netherlands will have done so.

 

[good_old_shoes]

You can always take a taxi to the next village

There are areas in rural France where this option doesn't exist.

And even if you manage to organize a taxi, you might have to call a day before to have it come to the middle of nowhere, and since it will come from a larger town/city far away, it will cost you an arm and a leg.

 

[Kathar1na]

There are areas in rural France where this option doesn't exist.

And even if you manage to organize a taxi, you might have to call a day before to have it come to the middle of nowhere, and since it will come from a larger town/city far away, it will cost you an arm and a leg.

Correct. And often when there is no pilgrim albergue in this village, there is no pilgrim albergue in the next village either - taxi or no taxi. We are talking about quiet Caminos in the Netherlands, Belgium, and north and middle France. This is not the Camino Francés or the Le Puy.

 

[howardd5]

There are areas in rural France where this option doesn't exist.

And even if you manage to organize a taxi, you might have to call a day before to have it come to the middle of nowhere, and since it will come from a larger town/city far away, it will cost you an arm and a leg.

From my experience in Spain their are a lot of “ part time” taxis that will jump at the idea of taking people with cash . Never seen a problem and never waited more than 30 min

 

[SabsP]

From my experience in Spain their are a lot of “ part time” taxis that will jump at the idea of taking people with cash . Never seen a problem and never waited more than 30 min

You might be surprised how many pilgrims do not walk the CF!

 

[Bristle Boy]

I see that the thread has now moved on from tapping doors to seek accomodation outside the tried and trusted framework of legitimate businesses to the dark side of unregulated taxi services.
I would never have thought that this should be given any oxygen on this forum.
It will, eventually, all end in tears.

 

[Kathar1na]

Let me check that I understand correctly:

When a Camino peregrin@ knocks on my door and I provide a bed for the night and whip up perhaps an evening meal and provide coffee and toast with jam the next morning and accept a donation, then I am practising radical hospitality or I am helping the Camino to provide.

When however I offer to drive a Camino peregrin@ to the nearest village or town with a small hotel or gîte and accept a donation for my petrol and time spent to get him or her there and drive back home again, then I am on the dark side of unregulated taxi services and no oxygen should be given to this on the forum?

​

(Where's the emoji with the question mark on the head when one needs one ).

 

[Camino Chrissy]

When however I offer to drive a Camino peregrin@ to the nearest village or town with a small hotel or gîte and accept a donation for my petrol and time spent to get him or her there and drive back home again, then I am on the dark side of unregulated taxi services

I do not see what you describe as the same thing as "unregulated" taxi service. To me they are two completely different things.
Your potentially kind act is usually a one-time situation to help someone and accepting a donation is not the same thing imo, as what @howardd5 has said.

From my experience in Spain their are a lot of “ part time” taxis that will jump at the idea of taking people with cash . Never seen a problem and never waited more than 30 min

 

[henrythedog]

(referring to knocking on doors). True in Spain. Not true in USA!!
But whether in Spain or USA, I wouldn’t knock on a stranger’s door unless there was a true emergency.
Even then, I would first yell loudly to see whether anyone responds.

Well said.

I wouldn’t knock on a door in my hamlet after dark either; and I live here.

 

[Kirkie]

I am just curious what your opinion is on this. Would you knock on doors on quiet Caminos to ask for a place to stay?

I saw this advice being given to a pilgrim who will start her Camino in the Netherlands and walk through Belgium and France. The person who gave this advice says she has done this herself. She used to rang the doorbell at houses in villages where there was no albergue or other pilgrims facility to ask for a place to stay. She said that it was a win-win, because people generally like to help out and she had interesting encounters with locals this way.

I have walked from Amsterdam to Santiago as well, but this would never have occurred to me. I sometimes went to the local townhall or police station to ask about options to stay, but I never rang at doorbells (apart from maybe once to ask for water). It was my free choice to walk there and if there was no pilgrims lodging I would book a chambre d'hôtes or hotel.

And also, if your house was on a less traveled Camino route, would you let pilgrims who ring your doorbell stay with you?

Paolo Freire inspired a community education project I worked in 40 years ago, in Edinburgh. One section in the programme was a Skills Exchange. I have something you might need, and vice versa. It is basically barter, and genuine human trust is the glue that lets it work. It strikes me that cultural context is key to the situation that @Luka proposes with her two questions.
Many years ago I was struck by this sentence: Walk two weeks in my moccasins before you pronounce...
I can only add this to the soup of replies, and it is not a simple decisive answer, but here you have it for what it's worth.

 

[good_old_shoes]

(referring to knocking on doors). True in Spain. Not true in USA!!
But whether in Spain or USA, I wouldn’t knock on a stranger’s door unless there was a true emergency.
Even then, I would first yell loudly to see whether anyone responds.

If someone would be yelling loudly in front of my home, I'd probably lock the door and hide in the basement . On the other hand, if someone knocks or rings the bell like a civilized person, I'll just have a quick peek through the window and will then answer the door (unless whoever is out there looks to be unstable or it's in the middle of the night and I'm home alone).

I guess I'm lucky not to live in an area where you have to be afraid that every stranger at your door is a potential serial killer.

 

[SusanH]

I am just curious what your opinion is on this. Would you knock on doors on quiet Caminos to ask for a place to stay?

I saw this advice being given to a pilgrim who will start her Camino in the Netherlands and walk through Belgium and France. The person who gave this advice says she has done this herself. She used to rang the doorbell at houses in villages where there was no albergue or other pilgrims facility to ask for a place to stay. She said that it was a win-win, because people generally like to help out and she had interesting encounters with locals this way.

I have walked from Amsterdam to Santiago as well, but this would never have occurred to me. I sometimes went to the local townhall or police station to ask about options to stay, but I never rang at doorbells (apart from maybe once to ask for water). It was my free choice to walk there and if there was no pilgrims lodging I would book a chambre d'hôtes or hotel.

And also, if your house was on a less traveled Camino route, would you let pilgrims who ring your doorbell stay with you?

If I found myself in a situation where I felt that I really needed a place to stay and I was feeling overwhelmed or exhausted, I would do this. I would ask for help and then ask for a place to sleep. I wouldn’t do this in a big city, or a village with Albergues that just happened to be full. It would need to be a bit of a situation for me. Make sense?

 

[dick bird]

Absolutely so offer them nothing!

If know of a way to tell the difference between someone who genuinely needs help and someone who is taking advantage of your generosity, you're a wiser person than me.

 

[OTH86]

My husband and I live in a very small village on the Camino Frances. We do not have an albergue, but people knock on our door with some frequency. If they aren't drunk or covered in blood, we usually let them come in. Sometimes they stay.

I will never forget the day I walked into your very small village on the Camino Frances, and met you two... without knocking on a door. It was my first Camino and that day was my 69th birthday... Thank you so much for your wonderful hospitality!

 

[Rebekah Scott]

I think it's safe to say that in every Camino village there is at least one place where it's safe to knock on the door and ask for help when you're in genuine need. The neighbors will show you where that is.
Just don't do it as a "social experiment," OK? (That's pretentious BS.)
If no one is home, and you're truly out of luck, call the Guardia Civil on 062. It's their job to help you out.
These resources are some of what makes the Camino network unique in the world. Don't be so stuck up on a high horse (or so afraid) that you don't avail yourself of what's there for you.
Roll the damn dice, pilgrim. There is such a thing as Providence.

 

[dick bird]

I think it's safe to say that in every Camino village there is at least one place where it's safe to knock on the door and ask for help when you're in genuine need. The neighbors will show you where that is.
Just don't do it as a "social experiment," OK? (That's pretentious BS.)
If no one is home, and you're truly out of luck, call the Guardia Civil on 062. It's their job to help you out.
These resources are some of what makes the Camino network unique in the world. Don't be so stuck up on a high horse (or so afraid) that you don't avail yourself of what's there for you.
Roll the damn dice, pilgrim. There is such a thing as Providence.

I am sorry, but I do not believe it is safe to knock on a stranger's house and ask for a bed for the night anywhere in the world. Ask for help, maybe, but when you knock on that door, you have no way of knowing who is going to open it. You can ask in the local bar, if there is one, ask someone passing in the street or call the Guardia Civil if you are desperate, but don't take unnecessary risks.

 

[Kirkie]

I see no reason for you to be sorry for expressing your opinion, @ dick bird. Your opinion on the two questions posed by @ Luka - that is what she asked for. Your opinion is your right to express. Equally so, for every other respondent.

 

[Kathar1na]

The thread continuously flip-flops between the Camino Francés and the topic of @Luka's question which is walking on minor pilgrimage ways about 1200 km to the north of the Camino Francés.

 

[Camino Chrissy]

To go back to @Luka's two original questions on little traveled routes (not necessarily Caminos), my opinions are both "no" as a general rule, but exceptions may exist.
Similar situations can apply to hitchhiking...would you do it yourself, and would you be willing to pick up a hitch hiker?

EDIT- Both scenarios require decisions to be made on our own feelings of our personal safety.

 

[trecile]

I think it's safe to say that in every Camino village there is at least one place where it's safe to knock on the door and ask for help when you're in genuine need. The neighbors will show you where that is

Just to clarify, don't go knocking on just any door in a village. Ask around to find out if there are homes willing to help out pilgrims. Or call the Guardia Civil on 062.

I'm not sure if this advice pertains to the less traveled routes outside of Spain. Regardless, I wouldn't recommend knocking on random stranger's doors anywhere. Only homes where a local has directed you to.

 

[howardd5]

I am sorry, but I do not believe it is safe to knock on a stranger's house and ask for a bed for the night anywhere in the world. Ask for help, maybe, but when you knock on that door, you have no way of knowing who is going to open it. You can ask in the local bar, if there is one, ask someone passing in the street or call the Guardia Civil if you are desperate, but don't take unnecessary risks.

That is basic common sense , where would you do that safely?

 

[Bristle Boy]

That is basic common sense , where would you do that safely?

Yes, obviously (after four years) I have been reading the wrong advice of getting a taxi to the next village if there is no accomodation available.
There are some on here who think that tapping on doors is an acceptable solution to seek it out or who willingly provide it if their door was tapped.
Generosity of spirit is one thing but naivety and behaving in a manner that is contrary to common sense and regards to personal safety another.
In answer to the Original Post...No I do not think this is an acceptable solution nor do I think it is a practice that even needs discussion. I think it is something to avoid at all costs by people who should know better.

 

[Lindsay53]

I have been following this discussion with interest. Knocking on a strangers door is not something I would ever do short of an emergency. Not having a bed is not an emergency. I would seek advice in a shop or bar or from the police if I really felt the need, but most likely I would shelter in a park, under a bridge or somewhere else out of the way.

 

[chinacat]

That is basic common sense , where would you do that safely?

In any number of countries in the world where there is a long-standing tradition of true hospitality (’radical hospitality’?), where there is simple kindness, warmth and compassion for our fellow humans and where fear is not the predominant emotion driving our behaviour.

 

[sun is shining]

That is basic common sense , where would you do that safely?

I'm surprised - maybe even a bit shocked - by some of these responses. Thank god there are a myriad of places on this planet where it is perfectly *save* to knock on a random door and ask for assistance. You might be granted help, you might not but *safety* is really not a consideration in the majority of countries.

I realise that many of the posters here are from the US / Canada which is a very different region compared to - basically - very much the rest of the world. But honestly, knocking on a door is not scary. Nobody is going to shoot you. It's going to be a sad day for humanity when basic human kindness makes way to the fear people across the pond seem to be living in. Most Camino routes are in Europe and go through quaint little villages - you are absolutely going to be fine. Again, you might not get the help / assistance that you want but you are not putting yourself in danger.

 

[TravellingMan22]

That is basic common sense , where would you do that safely?

The vast majority of the world as stated above….is not a gun, knife or bad person lurking behind every door!

 

[Lindsay53]

I'm surprised - maybe even a bit shocked - by some of these responses. Thank god there are a myriad of places on this planet where it is perfectly *save* to knock on a random door and ask for assistance. You might be granted help, you might not but *safety* is really not a consideration in the majority of countries.

I realise that many of the posters here are from the US / Canada which is a very different region compared to - basically - very much the rest of the world. But honestly, knocking on a door is not scary. Nobody is going to shoot you. It's going to be a sad day for humanity when basic human kindness makes way to the fear people across the pond seem to be living in. Most Camino routes are in Europe and go through quaint little villages - you are absolutely going to be fine. Again, you might not get the help / assistance that you want but you are not putting yourself in danger.

The topic is not about knocking on someones door in an emergency, but knocking on someones door and asking them to give you a bed for the night. An entirely different thing.

 

[Camino Chrissy]

The topic is not about knocking on someones door in an emergency, but knocking on someones door and asking them to give you a bed for the night. An entirely different thing.

If I personally take the word "emergency" out of my prior posts, then I see knocking on a door in "any" country for the purpose of asking for a bed to be mooching; trying to get something for nothing.

 

[David Tallan]

I am sorry, but I do not believe it is safe to knock on a stranger's house and ask for a bed for the night anywhere in the world. Ask for help, maybe, but when you knock on that door, you have no way of knowing who is going to open it. You can ask in the local bar, if there is one, ask someone passing in the street or call the Guardia Civil if you are desperate, but don't take unnecessary risks.

I beg to differ but I think there are plenty of places in the world where it is safe to do so. You may not get the bed. You may be considered rude and inconsiderate for asking. But you will not be in physical danger. That is certainly true of my neighborhood.

In fact, I think the number of places in the world where it is actually unsafe to knock on a stranger's door is quite small.

It is true that the person answering the door may be a serial killer (although I think the chances of your being struck by lightning are greater). But if you ask someone in a bar or passing on the street they have just as much chance of being a serial killer who will invite you home.

In terms of someone opening the door and shooting you, there really aren't that many places where it is a risk.

 

[David Tallan]

The topic is not about knocking on someones door in an emergency, but knocking on someones door and asking them to give you a bed for the night. An entirely different thing.

Yes. And you may be very likely to be refused. But I agree with the person you are responding to that the different request is not going to lead to physical danger. People may think you are rude or inconsiderate for asking but that won't lead them to attack you. At most they are likely to shut the door in your face. More likely they will direct you elsewhere.

 

[Camino Chrissy]

I'll stick with my opinion that for me that if it is not an emergency situation, I consider knocking to request a bed for the night to be mooching; nothing to do with serial killers or similar. I do think women should add another layer of caution as there are quite a few stories on this forum of attacks and near attacks, although not from knocking on doors. No country is "fool proof", even if the odds are very low.

 

[Molly Cassidy]

Yes. And you may be very likely to be refused. But I agree with the person you are responding to that the different request is not going to lead to physical danger. People may think you are rude or inconsiderate for asking but that won't lead them to attack you. At most they are likely to shut the door in your face. More likely they will direct you elsewhere.

There are also places in the world where people would be only too happy to offer a bed to a passing traveller for a small fee. It is not unusual in many parts of the world to be approached on arrival at the port or railway station by people offering rooms.

I would say it would be safe to knock on a door where I live in Greece, except that you wouldn't have to. People are usually in the street and if you speak to them and explain what you need they would do anything they could to help.

I, myself, when living in Scotland, have offered a room to a young American couple who had stayed out too late and were locked out of their hostel.

 

[Barbara]

When I walked the Norte for the first time it was a very quiet route. I walked with a donkey so first thing to do was always find her a place. I mostly camped, often in a farmers field, so knocked on quite a few doors to ask permission, and for water. We carried everything else, including the necessary trowel
I was only very rarely refused permission, and never threatened. More than once I was welcomed and given a meal and a bed for the night, or sometimes a stable for us both to sleep in.
I woud not have asked if I didn't have a companion who couldn't get in a taxi, but I met some wonderful people (and stayed on some great camp sites, where my donkey made a lot of children happy)
Whilst it might not be the best plan to knock on doors and ask, if you knocked on my door I would help you. Happily for this world, there are a lot of people who help, and in civilised countries, including many where people have few worldly goods, you won't get shot for doing just that.
The reason I would suggest making your own arrangements is simply that I don't want to be the "entitled foreigner" It's your Camino but their daily life with their family and jobs to do. Asking for a patch of grass or some information is one thing, expecting the spare room is another.

 

[sun is shining]

If I personally take the word "emergency" out of my prior posts, then I see knocking on a door in "any" country for the purpose of asking for a bed to be mooching; trying to get something for nothing.

I love it when people get something for free / nothing - or I can give something to someone for free if it is within my means. In fact, that was the first lesson I learnt during my first Camino nearly 15 years ago: be kind, share if you can and help your fellow humans out. People have given me so much for free: water, blister treatment, a pair of socks, a physiotherapist session... Since then I hosted dozens of people for free in my home, played tour guide or helped travellers out - all without any compensation. I never once considered them to be mooching as I was giving my hospitality willingly.

Personally, I rather live in a world where we share what we can (be that a bed for the night, Compeed or water on a hot day).

Walking from the Netherlands to Spain by only knocking on peoples doors? Not something I would do and trying it our as a social experiment seems rather obnoxious to me.

But the general principle of "free hospitality" is something that is practiced in lots of places worldwide and is one of the defining characteristics of the Camino de Santiago. Look at the concepts of albergues: you (the royal you) / we are mooching off the taxes Spaniards pay, the time volunteer hospitalieros donate, the free fruits we constantly get given along the way...

 

[trecile]

The topic is not about knocking on someones door in an emergency, but knocking on someones door and asking them to give you a bed for the night. An entirely different thing.

You are right. The first post talks about a pilgrim whose plan for accommodation was to knock on stranger's doors to get a free bed, and perhaps meal. Not as a last resort, but part of their Plan A.

 

[Camino Chrissy]

@sun is shining, I can only speak of my own feelings of what mooching is. My personal definition does not allow "me" to do it, short of an emergency. This thread is about knocking on a stranger's door requesting a bed for the night or letting a stranger sleep at your home. My story is that I have hosted a stranger overnight once, and it was not a good experience. I would have no problem asking fellow pilgrims for a piece of compeed or an aspirin if I had a headache, but a bed, no.
I love being generous, helpful, etc, just as you do, in a variety of circumstances; the rewards are satisfying, for both the giver and the receiver.

 

[good_old_shoes]

I think we all agree that knocking on people's doors and guilt-tripping them into giving you a bed for the night for free as a social experiment or out of the romantic idea that as a pilgrim you're entitled to special treatment and a place to stay for free is not a good idea. Horrible idea, even.

Even I do agree with that and I have kind of knocked at a door for a place to stay at least once (owner was in front of the house, so no knocking involved and I only asked for a place in the barn, not a bed).

But for an emergency, it is a very human thing to ask other humans for help, and also a human thing to then help if you can, or at least help to find help elsewhere.

What one considers an emergency bad enough to ask strangers for help (which might be a bed) of course depends on personality, experience, upbringing, region you're walking in, gut feeling, ect.

Personally, I try not to bother others if I can, and to be selfsufficient as much as possible, with plans a-z. But on my walks, I also learned to ask for help if I need it, and I rely on a mix of my gut feeling and common sense when approaching people. Worked well so far on my walks, and I even learned a lot from that for my "normal" life at home. Others I know who asked strangers for help had similar experiences. Just anecdotal, of course.

But whenever I hear how dangerous that kind of thing is, supposedly, especially for women, I remember the fact that most women who experience violence do so by a family member, partner or ex-partner, a colleague or a friend.

Yes, you're more likely to experience violence by someone you know than by a stranger, according to statistics (at least where I live, which is in a western European country - elsewhere it might be different).

Also, for those who think it's "mooching" to ask strangers for help: You can always offer some money, if it makes you feel better (that's what I usually do, even if I only ask someone in their garden to refill my water bottle). But you'll probably find out that most people will be offended and won't take it.

 

[Bristle Boy]

You are right. The first post talks about a pilgrim whose plan for accommodation was to knock on stranger's doors to get a free bed, and perhaps meal. Not as a last resort, but part of their Plan A.

Someone who has read and understood the post.
This request is being made to the Butcher, the Baker and the Candlestick Maker who will, possibly, have nothing to do with the Camino.
I'm all for the Christian concept of offering shelter and sustenance (and have done so on numerous ocassions) but this practice is a step too far for me.

 

[Barbara]

Donkeys are the world's experts at mooching. Humans just can't do that expression compounded of exhaustion, hunger and thirst with a side order of trust and love and expectations of rescue (even if they have only walked a mile after a long night in a field full of grass and had to be dragged from the far side and resisted being harnessed by lying down on your feet)
Don't compete with the pros. Get that taxi, struggle to the next village with a refuge, or pay for the hotel. Or get your own donkey and enjoy the experience of standing for an hour while the donkey chomps her way through a bucket of wheat and a packet of chocolate biscuits. At least steal one of the biscuits.

 

[Albertagirl]

The discussion above has led me to the New Testament: Luke 10;29ff., and the question, "And who is my neighbour?" Jesus tells a story about a man who is in extreme need: those who ignore his need and the one person who helps him, concluding with throwing the question back to his questioner. I know how my neighbours responded when my neighbourhood was flooded ten years ago and I know how Calgarians are responding th the arrival of many thousand of persons from Yellowknife who have fled south to Calgary to avoid the current wildfires in the north. The situation of pilgrims without shelter for a night is less urgent. But I suggest that persons along a pilgrim way, knowing that there is no shelter for a pilgrim in their village, may reasonably consider offering a bed for a night to a travelling pilgrim. I would probably look for outdoor shelt if I were in this sitution as a pilgrim. But, depending on the weather and the urgency of the situation, I would choose the best alternative which I saw. I suspect that persons in towns which have no public shelter might reasonably offer a bed or a suggestion for other options to a pilgrim.

 

[RibbonRomanceAuthor]

I have been following this discussion with interest. Knocking on a strangers door is not something I would ever do short of an emergency. Not having a bed is not an emergency. I would seek advice in a shop or bar or from the police if I really felt the need, but most likely I would shelter in a park, under a bridge or somewhere else out of the way.

In the US where I live and travel solo all the time, if I find myself in such a situation, I call the local police. Over the years, they have directed me to a safe location that sometimes is the parking lot of the police station.

 

[Bristle Boy]

In the US where I live and travel solo all the time, if I find myself in such a situation, I call the local police. Over the years, they have directed me to a safe location that sometimes is the parking lot of the police station.

Doesn't seem to be a situation to me. More like a strategy..

 

[Luka]

Hi all, sorry, I had been away from the forum and I just read all new replies. I think it comes basically down to this: I really appreciate the spirit of the Camino of giving, helping and sharing and I think this should be cherished.

My point is that the woman I wrote about in my OP is IMHO doing the opposite: she is ruining that spirit, by knocking on people's doors as part of her Camino experience, instead of asking help from other people when in need.

 

[TravellingMan22]

Hi all, sorry, I had been away from the forum and I just read all new replies. I think it comes basically down to this: I really appreciate the spirit of the Camino of giving, helping and sharing and I think this should be cherished.

My point is that the woman I wrote about in my OP is IMHO doing the opposite: she is ruining that spirit, by knocking on people's doors as part of her Camino experience, instead of asking help from other people when in need.

Well maybe but we can’t control other peoples behaviours or people will not always behave in a way that you want them to… if only eh!! I am sure we all do things in our lives that other folks disapprove of!

The Camino is such a ‘big brand’ with a strong heritage it can more deal with a few folks that operate ‘outside the lines’.

 

[Barbara]

Hi all, sorry, I had been away from the forum and I just read all new replies. I think it comes basically down to this: I really appreciate the spirit of the Camino of giving, helping and sharing and I think this should be cherished.

My point is that the woman I wrote about in my OP is IMHO doing the opposite: she is ruining that spirit, by knocking on people's doors as part of her Camino experience, instead of asking help from other people when in need.

I'm strongly inclined to agree with you. Asking for help is fine when you need help. Treating any sort of walk as a social experiment only risks spoiling it for those who come after.
I cycle Caminos where there is very little in the way of Albergues but a network of kind people who welcome pilgrims into their homes. (The local associations have lists) I only rarely ask to stay because I don't want to wear out the welcome. Mostly I camp or use a B&B. All of the home stays have been with delightful and kind people, it would be so easy to ask every night. I just don't want to impose where I can do something else.
I'm also part of a cyclist mutual support group, but I feel a lot easier asking because I also host so feel I am doing something in return. I can't do anything for my kind pilgrim hosts other than thanks, love, and a letter from Santiago. Pilgrims are also welcome to my home but I see far more non pilgrims. (I live on a little known secondary route in France, the Tours Eastern variant South of Châtellerault. please use it then I can meet you!)

 

[Luka]

Well maybe but we can’t control other peoples behaviours or people will not always behave in a way that you want them to… if only eh!! I am sure we all do things in our lives that other folks disapprove of!

The Camino is such a ‘big brand’ with a strong heritage it can more deal with a few folks that operate ‘outside the lines’.

I agree. The background why I posted this: she gave this advice to another (new) pilgrim in a pilgrims group on social media and I was the only person responding that this wasn't great advice and that pilgrims should not unnecessarily bother villagers this way. That surprised me and that is why I posted it here: is this me? Would there be anything to say in favour of her approach?

 

[Luka]

I'm strongly inclined to agree with you. Asking for help is fine when you need help. Treating any sort of walk as a social experiment only risks spoiling it for those who come after.
I cycle Caminos where there is very little in the way of Albergues but a network of kind people who welcome pilgrims into their homes. (The local associations have lists) I only rarely ask to stay because I don't want to wear out the welcome. Mostly I camp or use a B&B. All of the home stays have been with delightful and kind people, it would be so easy to ask every night. I just don't want to impose where I can do something else.
I'm also part of a cyclist mutual support group, but I feel a lot easier asking because I also host so feel I am doing something in return. I can't do anything for my kind pilgrim hosts other than thanks, love, and a letter from Santiago. Pilgrims are also welcome to my home but I see far more non pilgrims. (I live on a little known secondary route in France, the Tours Eastern variant South of Châtellerault. please use it then I can meet you!)

To me this makes all the difference. These are people who stepped forward willing to host pilgrims. It does you credit that you don't want to impose, but for me this is a total different situation from randomly knocking on doors.

And if I will ever walk the Tours route I'll keep you in mind. Thanks so much for your hospitality, would be lovely to meet you.

 

[OzAnnie]

she gave this advice to another (new) pilgrim in a pilgrims group on social media and I was the only person responding that this wasn't great advice and that pilgrims should not unnecessarily bother villagers this way.

Well done Luka. We need to speak up and give the other side to the story otherwise some strange beliefs are going to take hold. It’s the easy way out to ignore - but you have given them something to ponder now. .

 

[Barbara]

I agree. The background why I posted this: she gave this advice to another (new) pilgrim in a pilgrims group on social media and I was the only person responding that this wasn't great advice and that pilgrims should not unnecessarily bother villagers this way. That surprised me and that is why I posted it here: is this me? Would there be anything to say in favour of her approach?

I don't think it was good advice. Good will should not be abused. It's not you, and her approach makes me think of the fable of the boy who cried wolf .